Category Archives: Adam

To Schedule or Not To Schedule, That Is The Question…

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The schedule versus no schedule debate is almost as hot as breast feeding versus formula.  In fact, its been in the news lately, as LibDem MP Nick Clegg basically told schedule guru Gina Ford she was an idiot. Although not to her face.

The one thing I always knew I wanted, when I had a baby, was to not have a schedule or a routine.  My whole life was one big schedule, thanks to being a PA, and I always thought it would be nice, once I had a baby, to just go with the flow.

So I did.  Adam was (and still is) fed on demand.  For his first few months he stayed up until he fell asleep.  And so on.

And then the little stinker did something that still amazes me.  He created his own schedule.

It started at bed time.  Simon and I are not stupid.  When a baby gets cranky beyond belief around 8pm? That’s when he should be going to sleep.  So we moved our dinner time earlier so we could start Adam’s bed time (gulp) routine at 7.  And if we are even a bit late starting? He let’s us know he’s ready for his bath and his bed.

And then, just recently, as he’s started to sleep through more and more often, I realized he’s also set a schedule for the day time.  He wakes up between 5 and 6, at which point whichever parent is on duty gets up, gives him his dummy and tells him to go back to sleep.  Which sometimes works.  Yesterday, for example, he woke up at 5, but I managed to get him back to sleep until 6.

So up by 6.  Bottle.  During the week, 7 is chair time as Simon and I have breakfast, or, if I need to be somewhere, I take a shower and then eat.

745 Simon is out of the shower and Adam goes and plays with Simon while Simon gets dressed.

0800? Have a good day Daddy!

0815 – 0830? Fast asleep.

0900 – 0915? Back awake, time for another bottle and some porridge please mummy!

0930?  Time to dress me mummy!  Why yes, overalls would be lovely today.

1000?  Yayaya bouncy chair!  Get in the shower mummy, I’m ready to go go go!!!!

1030?  Let’s go for a walk/to the shops/anywhere please!!!

1045? zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz in my pram while mummy pushes me!!

12 – 1230?  Home again home again jiggedy jig!  Ooh, clean bottom how nice…can I have some rice and veg now? And then some milk? YUM!!

1230 Disco Saucer time!!! Who knew Mummies needed to eat too?

1330 – 1400 zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz nap time!

1430 – 1500 If mummy’s lucky I’ll sleep a whole entire hour!!!!!!

1500 – 1600 Ahh, nothing as nice as lying in mummy’s arms waking up.  Oh yes, please, I would like to play with my Mickey Mouse!

1600 More milk please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

1700 Kick kick kick in my chair.  What’s mummy doing? Oooh, washing my bottles.  What a nice mummy!

1720 Snuggle in mummy’s arms again.

1730 What’s that I hear? Daddy’s HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

1730 – 1830 Play with daddy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I think Mummy’s cooking dinner.

1830 – 1900 In my high chair, playing and being with mummy and daddy while they eat!

1900 Bathtime!

1930 Bottle time!

2000 zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

The times are not that precise, obviously, but pretty close.

And so my wishes for no schedule have gone out the window.

Darn it.

I Felt Like Such A Bad Mother The Other Day

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Anyone who reads this blog for anything more than 2 seconds knows that I have quite a few health problems.  Fibromyalgia.  Type II diabetes.  Anxiety Disorder.  Borderline Agoraphobia.  Early Degenerative Disease.

And I do everything in my power to not let these  things affect the care of my son.  I had a horrible fibro flair a few months ago and I managed to take care of him.

And then came this past Wednesday morning.  When I woke up with a borderline migraine.

Now, other than a reaction to some stuff I took for my fibro right after diagnosis, I haven’t had a migraine in ages.  I never have any warning that I am going to get them.  They just show up.

So when Adam got me up about 530 Wednesday morning, I was hurting.  And nauseated.  And ready to steel myself to get through the day.  I certainly could not ask Simon to take the day off.  I would manage.

And then Simon got up for work.  And took one look at me and said ‘Do you want me to stay home?’

At first I said no, no way.  I can manage.  I have to manage.

But he kept asking.  And when it got to the point that I thought for sure I was going to have to puke I finally said ‘yes, please, stay home. I need to go back to bed.’  And I did.

And I felt like the worse mother ever.  Mother’s are suppose to muddle through, no matter what.  They are suppose to put everything to one side; pain, illness, sleep, to care for their children.  And I just couldn’t on Wednesday.

I know, if Simon hadn’t been able to stay home, or had been on one of his trips, I would have managed.  But I still felt horrible that I didn’t manage.  That I, in the end, leapt at the chance to stay in bed for the day and not have to manage.

I know I am lucky that Simon could do that.  And I am very thankful for it.

But, still, I felt like a bad mother.

Of course, most anything can make a person feel like a bad mother.  There is so much competition out there, so much ‘my baby does this’ and ‘how can you not do that’.

Well, I lay enough guilt on myself for the decisions I make, I have decided to not play the ‘my baby is better than yours’ game.  I refuse.

Although I am looking for a baby yoga or baby signing class, its part of the reason I am so reluctant to join a Mummy and Baby group.

That and the fact I’ll probably be about 20 years older than all of them.

I Am The Meanest Mummy *Ever*!!!

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At least according to Adam. Why?

Because I make him wear a shirt to bed under his Grobag for sleeping and one during the day under his overalls.

Because I insist he try and nap.

Because I insist he have a bath regularly.

Because I let Daddy go to work rather than make him stay home and play all day.

Just wait until you’re older kid.  Then you’ll see what a mean Mummy I can be!!

Letter to My Son – Adam – 7 Months Old

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Dear Adam

What a month it has been.

You had your MRI, which went fine.  We get the results in a week.  And we’ll find out what they intend to do about The Lump.  If anything.  I think Daddy is hoping they want to remove it.  I think I am hoping they want to leave it alone and watch it.  But I am not sure if either of us is sure that that’s what we want.

We went to California for Christmas.  10.5 hours on a plane each way and you were the perfect baby during both flights.

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You met some of your cousins on this trip.  First your London cousin:

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Then your California cousins:

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You didn’t sleep too badly in California, but coming home was hard.  It took you almost 2 weeks to get back to going to sleep around 8 and sleeping through.  But you got back there eventually!

Also, Mummy and Daddy moved you into your own room.  As of this writing, you are in your Amby in there, but we’ll be moving you to your cot sooner rather than later, as you are settling fine so far.

Mummy has been trying you on various solid foods.  Baby rice? Huge hit, love it.  Applesauce? Made you choke and throw up.  Twice.  Carrot? Opened mouth and dumped it right out.  Mashed potato? More vomit.  All of those (well, except the first applesauce) were home made.  So what did you like?  Store bought apple/banana.  You gobbled that right.up.  Guess mummy will give up on the home made for awhile and start buying some jars!!

You are so big now that we had to retire your 0 – 6 month sleeper bags and buy some 9 – 18 month ones.  And you’ve only got about 4 or 5 inches to go in those! You are, I think, going to be taller than Daddy.

You have been chewing on anything you can get your hands on.  But so far no sign of teeth.  Also lots and lots of drool!  Daddy seems to wipe your face every 2 minutes.  I just let you drool!

Every day you get more interactive and interested in the world around you.  Its so much fun to be with you!

Love

Mummy

Its Been A Tough Week

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Adam has not been sleeping well.  Staying up way past his bedtime and waking during the night.  I know it is jet lag and he will get passed it, but I am shattered.

Because I am so tired I’ve been having fibro flares.  So we’ve spent a few days playing inside when we probably would have normally taken a walk at least.

Today, for example, he spent about an hour playing on his pay mat. I put about 10 toys in there with him, including his Christmas ones, as the box I shipped from the States arrived today.  And what does he play with? The ribbon hanging off the arch that holds the toys! Babies!!

Another thing that I forgot to mention is that my sister found my baby blanket.  I remember giving it to her when her oldest daughter was born and saying ‘I’ll never want this back.’  I called her a few weeks before the trip and said ‘I want it back!’  She wasn’t sure where it was, but she found it and gave it to me when we were there.

My Nana, my dad’s mom, made me that blanket over 40 years ago now.  My mom remembers asking her to make it from cotton yarn, so she could wash it, but my Nana insisted on making it out of wool so it would last.  I had horrible eczema when I was a baby, so wool was bad, but the blanket looks as good as it did the day my Nana gave it to me.  Although Adam also has eczema, so he won’t really get to use it either.  Also, it has a huge girl on it!  At least its blue!  So it is living on the back of the rocking chair.  It may go on the bottom of his bed some day, but since it has a girl on it? Probably not!

I’m still happy to have it, though.

I’m dying to talk about what I am doing for my mom’s 70th birthday in March.  But she reads this.  So y’all will just have to wonder along with her.  I’m so mean…

The good news is Adam went down only about 45 minutes late tonight.  It has been getting closer and closer to his bedtime each night.  So hopefully he’ll go down on time tomorrow. And stay down.

Except tomorrow? We move him to his own room…

The Whole MRI Story…

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with the rush to get out the door for California, I never did post the whole story about the day of Adam’s MRI.  So here it is.

The morning was normal enough, although after 8am he wasn’t allowed anything but water.  This made him one  cranky boy off and on and a very cranky boy after 12 when he wasn’t allowed anything at all.  Very hard to explain nil by mouth to a 6 month old.

Just as we were getting ready to leave, I checked my mobile and found a voice mail.  It was from the hospital, about the MRI, no clue as to why.  So I rang up frantic, cursing the fact that maybe it had been cancelled.  Nope, just a confirmation call.  Whew.

His appointment was for 1400 and we were there by about 1345.  We only sat for a few moments before we were called back to meet with the first person, who check for allergies, weighed him and things like that.  Then we waited another 10 minutes or so for the anaesthesiologist.  He was very reassuring and said that in his many many years of experience not one of his patients have ever had an allergic reaction to the anaesthesia.

He also said that since Adam was so big that he would use the face mask, rather than a cannula.  I was so relieved to hear that as it mean the whole thing would be pain free for Adam.

After that we carried him back to the prep area.  I held him as they put the mask over his face.  He began to fuss and the anaesthesiologist said ‘let’s sing twinkle twinkle.’ and I shook my head at him and started to sing Hush Little Baby.  Adam began to calm down as the 6 people around us marvelled at my singing voice (um, really?) and said they’d like to record it to use in the future.  I believe I looked like this: O__0.  The anaesthesiologist then asked if it was Adam’s good night song, which it is.

About half way through the song they had me lift him onto the bed and ushered us out to wait.  They said it would be about 45 minutes.

So Simon and I waited.  We chatted.  We read trashy magazines.  I paced around.  Finally, they called us back.

He was lying in a recovery area with an oxygen mask next to him.  As much as I never want my baby to be under a general again? Him waking up from it was adorable!  Big yawns and rubbing of eyes.  And then crying with hunger.

They didn’t need the recovery area right away, so I got a bottle sorted and Simon fed him.  Of course, as always, I made a mess opening those darn premade cartons.  Never have managed to open one of those without spilling!

He finished the first one and we got him dressed.  I had been chatting with the radiologist who was monitoring him about what had caused The Lump.  I said that I was certain that they still wouldn’t be able to tell what it was from the MRI, like they couldn’t from the ultrasound.  The look they gave me said ‘oh I know what it is, but I can’t tell you.’

And then we were done and out the door.  We paused for a bit in the waiting area as he was still hungry and then headed home.

We were home around 1630 and the whole thing was over.

We find out what it is and what they want to do about it on 18th January.  Until then we just have to assume if it was something awful we would have been asked to come sooner.

So in two more weeks we’ll know.

Highlights Of A Trip To California…

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Maybe in chronological order.  Maybe not…

Walking out the front door of our building to see snow.  We had never looked out the window!

Finding out later that we basically got the last on time flight out of Belfast.  Storm of the decade and I missed it!

Adam meeting his cousin for the first time.

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Going to the wrong terminal at Heathrow and having to haul everything onto the train to get to the right one.

Waiting in line for 2 hours to check in at United in London.  And then getting through security in less than 10 minutes.

Getting the bulkhead on the flight.

Adam sleeping and playing and eating on the plane with almost no fussing.

Dozing on the plane thinking to myself ‘Simon hasn’t met Aunt T, has he met S & C?  When would he have met S & C…you moron they were at your wedding!’

The look on the face of the Immigration officer at SFO when I told her, no, we weren’t returning from holiday, we were on holiday.  Apparently no American lives anywhere but America.

Adam being snatched from my arms by my mother, who actually forgot to  say hello to me!

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The big hugs I got from my nieces.

The big hug I got from my sister in law.

My sister in law saying to my mom ‘Okay, I’ve been really patient…gimme that baby!’

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My older niece holding Adam.  My younger niece being a bit wary.

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Waking Simon at 330 am the first night, in tears, because Adam wouldn’t sleep for more than an hour at a time and I had hit my limit.  I was so grateful for our two adjoining rooms.

Shopping at Target with my mom.  Oh how I’ve missed Target!

Shopping at Target again with my SIL and, just like old times, talking so much it took 3 times as long as it should!

Adam’s first taste of apple sauce, which led to him coughing, it coming out his nose and him throwing up on my brother’s hardwood floor.  Better than on the carpet!

My nieces in the dresses Simon and I gave them for Christmas.

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Adam opening a Christmas present.

Adam opening present

Oakland Zoo.

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California Pizza Kitchen.  ‘Nough said.

Peets Coffee.  Also ‘nough said.

Gripping hands with my sister in law as we had our pedicures while the nail techs did the bottom of our feet with the scrubby brush. Tickled.So.Bad.

Wandering into Old Navy to see jeans on sale for $15.  Calling my husband, who was having a boys day with my brother, Adam and my step dad while we girls shopped, to find out what size jeans he was wearing.  Being told, in no uncertain terms, that he and my brother would not pop into the loo to check the label for me.

Bra shopping with my mom.  Just like when I was a teenager. 🙂

Macy’s.  Once again, ‘nough said.

Saying good bye to my girls while we all cried.

Checking into SFO 4 hours early.  No line at United, through Security in 10 minutes (even after the Christmas Day incident!).

Shopping at SFO and finding out that the amenities are actually better on the domestic side of the terminal.

Getting the bulkhead again.

Looking a Flight Attendant right in the eye and saying ‘Of course its an FAA approve car seat and says so on the side!’

Adam falling asleep 10 minutes before we took off from SFO and waking up an hour outside London.

Getting through Immigration at Heathrow before my British citizen husband and son, thanks to a new line for permanent Visa holders.

Getting to our flat and putting Adam in his bouncy chair so we could get sorted.  He was so happy to get home, be out of his car seat and in his chair he just bounced and giggled for about an hour.

Why I Am Not Really Worried About Tomorrow

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So tomorrow is MRI day.  Finally.

And I’m not really worried.  I mean, I’m not completely calm, they are going to be sticking a needle into my son’s vein and pumping a drug into it to make him sleep, with all the dangers that that brings.  But that’s more because I hate to see him cry and he will cry when the put the cannula in.

No, I’m not worried.

Why?

I was worried.  When they first said MRI and General Anaesthetic I was very worried.  Here was my 3 month old son being put under at some point.

And then I saw the palm of his hand for, really, the first time.

In case you didn’t know, babies keep their hands in fists for months.  They just don’t hardly open their hands.  Its actually very cute, but means I had never really seen my son’s palm.

And then, one day not too long after we found out about the MRI, I was feeding him and he opened his hand.  And I saw his palm.  And his lifeline goes all the way around his thumb.  Just like mine does.  Just like my Granny Annie’s did.

Granny Annie was, if I am remembering correctly, 96 when she died.  Is that right mom?

Anyway, I saw the palm of my son’s hand and his lifeline and I stopped worrying.

You can call me daft if you like.  I don’t mind.  My husband surely will if he reads this.

But I still won’t worry about tomorrow.