Category Archives: Being a Mummy

I Need To Have A Good Whinge

Posted on by

First of all, let me once again note that my son is an awesome sleeper at night.  He goes down with minimal fuss and sleeps more or less through the night now, at nearly 10 months of age.

But naps. Oy!  You would think he is expecting a call from President Obama the way he fights napping.  Most days he eventually gets there, for 30 – 45 minutes in the morning and sometimes as long as 2 hours in the afternoon.  But getting him there can take, literally, hours.

And its during those hours that I get the most frustrated.  That I need a break the most.  That I wish I had family closer so I could ring them and say ‘He won’t nap.  Can you come look after him for 30 minutes so I can pee/shower/fold some laundry/have a full cup of coffee?’  I often IM my mum to tell her I’m putting stamps on his butt and sending him to her on days like that.

But oh, to actually have her near by!  I am envious of people who have family near by.

My mum is coming to visit the first two weeks of June, so she’ll be here for Adam’s first birthday.

And for at least one morning? I’m handing him over and walking out the door!

So Simon is Out Of Town On Business

Posted on by

he is ‘staying in college’ at Cambridge and his rooms are ‘dead posh’.

My day so far?

4 am dummy cry

430 sounds of shuffling

445 come get me mummy

446 in bed with me

500 no no no I want up up up

515 MASSIVE Poo.  Teething is fun!

530 back to sleep, Adam, not me, I’m awake now

615 reaching for peanut butter knock down baby rice.  Baby rice is about the consistency of baby powder. Grab GTech carpet sweeper.  Battery dead due to Simon not charging it all the time to save the battery.

630 baby back up.  Toast cold.  Coffee, however, hot.

7 Simon rings to check in.  I explain new battery £20.  My sanity? Worth much more, plug the fucking thing in!

705 Simon agrees

717 baby playing in bouncy chair with car attachment.  Mummy drinking coffee.

Today has got to get better, right?

Right?!?!

My Day/Night Off

Posted on by

was awesome!

Highlights: –

Realizing on the way to the airport that I had never tested the phone number I had put into my mobile for one of my friends.  So I sent her a text from the taxi.  I had the number right!

Almost getting on the wrong plane because they said what door but not what gate at the airport and I just joined the first queue I saw.  Belfast City Airport really needs to finish the damn construction already.

Having no seat mate.

Going up to the ticket counter a the airport train station to be told that the next train wasn’t for 15 whole minutes.  Um.  Okay.  So?  Am I suppose to turn and walk away and head back to Belfast?!

Hoping I had gotten on the right train because there was only one sign and they never made an announcement.  I had.

Phone ringing as I go to the street.  T’was my other friend.  She was there and checked into the hotel and we were roomies and come on up!!

The instant chat and gossip.

Others arriving avec champagne, chocolates and cake.  Let the party begin!

Dinner at Wegamama.

The Comedy Store new comedy night.  Glad it was only £3.  7 acts.  4 made me laugh.  1 made me smile once.  The other two sucked rocks.

Sleeping until 8!

Not being able to get the other girls’ room on the phone and theorizing that they either a.) had been abducted by aliens or b.) that one had murdered the other.  We even knew who had killed whom.

Meeting more friends (and some of their wonderful children) at Slattery.  OMG THE CHOCOLATE!

Yet another friend driving me to the airport.  And naming my new company (more on the company in a later entry).

Going to the wrong terminal at Manchester airport.

No seat mate!

Home to a big grin from my boy.

Had a great time.  Can’t wait for the next one!!!

My Time Off

Posted on by

So this Sunday around 1245 I board a plane bound for Manchester England.

Once there I will be meeting up with 8 very good friends of mine.

Its our night off.

I know these women from the internet.

We are all over 40.

We all have small children.

We started planning this before Christmas.  We were going to try to do a spa thing.  Only every spa we spoke to wanted a deposit and had no cancellation policy.  Um, did I mention we all have small children?  Yeah, we need to have a way to cancel.

So we picked a city.  Manchester.  Its sort of central for the rest of my friends.  And we picked a hotel.  And a restaurant.  And a comedy club.

And so we are gathering on Sunday.

And taking the day and night off.

I will miss Adam.

I will miss Simon.

But I will so love my day off. 🙂

Another Mummy Thing I Don’t ‘Get’

Posted on by

So I was reading a thread on Mumsnet the other day from a woman looking for ways to help her friend who had a newborn.  The poor friend was just exhausted, as you are, but felt like she couldn’t ask for help or go out of the house for a change of scene because the baby cried so loudly.  That part I can understand, although I also now understand that that’s what baby’s do and everyone else can just deal with it.  And newborn cries are really only very loud to their mummies!

The part I don’t understand is people’s responses along the lines of ‘oh I know, its so difficult to get out of the house with a baby.  It takes ages.  They need so much stuff!!!’

They do?  Like what?

Adam and I go out pretty much daily for at least an hour and half to two hours.  What do I take? Adam, the pram, a few nappies just in case and some wipes.  And the nappies and wipes live permanently in the bag attached to the pram.

Now, I do have a fully stocked diaper bag with changes of clothes, bottles, premade formula more nappies etc.  But I do not take it out with me every time I leave the house.  That’s for longer trips, such as when we had to be at the hospital for his MRI.

Even yesterday, when we were out a bit longer thanks to my having a fasting blood test and going to a cafe afterwards so I could eat, all I added to the nappy bag on the pram was a bottle, a covered bowl with some porridge ready to have water added, a small bottle with said water, an empty bottle and some formula.  Oh and half a banana!

But I see these parents out and about in City Centre, with children about Adam’s age, so they aren’t all that new to this parent lark, with huge bags of stuff hanging off their prams.  What could they possibly need for a quick trip to City Centre?  Even if they get stuck out longer than expected, Boots is right there, so it is always possible to buy emergency supplies!

So what am I missing?  Am I suppose to change Adam’s clothes every so often, even when clean, like he’s the host of the Oscars?  Or change his nappy every hour on the hour, even when dry?

Or am I, in this, as in so many other things, just a very laid back mummy?

To Schedule or Not To Schedule, That Is The Question…

Posted on by

The schedule versus no schedule debate is almost as hot as breast feeding versus formula.  In fact, its been in the news lately, as LibDem MP Nick Clegg basically told schedule guru Gina Ford she was an idiot. Although not to her face.

The one thing I always knew I wanted, when I had a baby, was to not have a schedule or a routine.  My whole life was one big schedule, thanks to being a PA, and I always thought it would be nice, once I had a baby, to just go with the flow.

So I did.  Adam was (and still is) fed on demand.  For his first few months he stayed up until he fell asleep.  And so on.

And then the little stinker did something that still amazes me.  He created his own schedule.

It started at bed time.  Simon and I are not stupid.  When a baby gets cranky beyond belief around 8pm? That’s when he should be going to sleep.  So we moved our dinner time earlier so we could start Adam’s bed time (gulp) routine at 7.  And if we are even a bit late starting? He let’s us know he’s ready for his bath and his bed.

And then, just recently, as he’s started to sleep through more and more often, I realized he’s also set a schedule for the day time.  He wakes up between 5 and 6, at which point whichever parent is on duty gets up, gives him his dummy and tells him to go back to sleep.  Which sometimes works.  Yesterday, for example, he woke up at 5, but I managed to get him back to sleep until 6.

So up by 6.  Bottle.  During the week, 7 is chair time as Simon and I have breakfast, or, if I need to be somewhere, I take a shower and then eat.

745 Simon is out of the shower and Adam goes and plays with Simon while Simon gets dressed.

0800? Have a good day Daddy!

0815 – 0830? Fast asleep.

0900 – 0915? Back awake, time for another bottle and some porridge please mummy!

0930?  Time to dress me mummy!  Why yes, overalls would be lovely today.

1000?  Yayaya bouncy chair!  Get in the shower mummy, I’m ready to go go go!!!!

1030?  Let’s go for a walk/to the shops/anywhere please!!!

1045? zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz in my pram while mummy pushes me!!

12 – 1230?  Home again home again jiggedy jig!  Ooh, clean bottom how nice…can I have some rice and veg now? And then some milk? YUM!!

1230 Disco Saucer time!!! Who knew Mummies needed to eat too?

1330 – 1400 zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz nap time!

1430 – 1500 If mummy’s lucky I’ll sleep a whole entire hour!!!!!!

1500 – 1600 Ahh, nothing as nice as lying in mummy’s arms waking up.  Oh yes, please, I would like to play with my Mickey Mouse!

1600 More milk please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

1700 Kick kick kick in my chair.  What’s mummy doing? Oooh, washing my bottles.  What a nice mummy!

1720 Snuggle in mummy’s arms again.

1730 What’s that I hear? Daddy’s HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

1730 – 1830 Play with daddy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I think Mummy’s cooking dinner.

1830 – 1900 In my high chair, playing and being with mummy and daddy while they eat!

1900 Bathtime!

1930 Bottle time!

2000 zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

The times are not that precise, obviously, but pretty close.

And so my wishes for no schedule have gone out the window.

Darn it.

I Felt Like Such A Bad Mother The Other Day

Posted on by

Anyone who reads this blog for anything more than 2 seconds knows that I have quite a few health problems.  Fibromyalgia.  Type II diabetes.  Anxiety Disorder.  Borderline Agoraphobia.  Early Degenerative Disease.

And I do everything in my power to not let these  things affect the care of my son.  I had a horrible fibro flair a few months ago and I managed to take care of him.

And then came this past Wednesday morning.  When I woke up with a borderline migraine.

Now, other than a reaction to some stuff I took for my fibro right after diagnosis, I haven’t had a migraine in ages.  I never have any warning that I am going to get them.  They just show up.

So when Adam got me up about 530 Wednesday morning, I was hurting.  And nauseated.  And ready to steel myself to get through the day.  I certainly could not ask Simon to take the day off.  I would manage.

And then Simon got up for work.  And took one look at me and said ‘Do you want me to stay home?’

At first I said no, no way.  I can manage.  I have to manage.

But he kept asking.  And when it got to the point that I thought for sure I was going to have to puke I finally said ‘yes, please, stay home. I need to go back to bed.’  And I did.

And I felt like the worse mother ever.  Mother’s are suppose to muddle through, no matter what.  They are suppose to put everything to one side; pain, illness, sleep, to care for their children.  And I just couldn’t on Wednesday.

I know, if Simon hadn’t been able to stay home, or had been on one of his trips, I would have managed.  But I still felt horrible that I didn’t manage.  That I, in the end, leapt at the chance to stay in bed for the day and not have to manage.

I know I am lucky that Simon could do that.  And I am very thankful for it.

But, still, I felt like a bad mother.

Of course, most anything can make a person feel like a bad mother.  There is so much competition out there, so much ‘my baby does this’ and ‘how can you not do that’.

Well, I lay enough guilt on myself for the decisions I make, I have decided to not play the ‘my baby is better than yours’ game.  I refuse.

Although I am looking for a baby yoga or baby signing class, its part of the reason I am so reluctant to join a Mummy and Baby group.

That and the fact I’ll probably be about 20 years older than all of them.

I Am The Meanest Mummy *Ever*!!!

Posted on by

At least according to Adam. Why?

Because I make him wear a shirt to bed under his Grobag for sleeping and one during the day under his overalls.

Because I insist he try and nap.

Because I insist he have a bath regularly.

Because I let Daddy go to work rather than make him stay home and play all day.

Just wait until you’re older kid.  Then you’ll see what a mean Mummy I can be!!

Changes

Posted on by

So obviously, my life has changed since having Adam.  I’ve mentioned this before.

But I have been thinking about physical changes lately.

Some of them are small, like the fact that my hands seem to get waterlogged a lot quicker these days.  One round of washing  up and my palms are all wrinkled.  I used to soak in the bathtub for hours and barely be wrinkled.

Or the fact that I get hangnails, which I never used to get.  I think that’s because I use that alcohol rub stuff after nappy changes, since there is no sink in his room.  Could be the reason for the wrinkly hands too, I guess.

Of course, some of them are big.  I have a very long scar just above my pubic bone, for example.  But I like that scar.  It brought my son into the world.

My hips hurt more than they used to.  Also due to my son.

Of course, all of these things are due to my son.

And I revel in every one of them.