Category Archives: daily

So, The Weekend Was Okay

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Did make it out of the flat, only to nearly hurl in Tesco.  Yeah, that was fun.

Then had a hypo in the middle of Eason and had to scarf a bag of crisps.  Salt and Vinegear, for the record.

Then we did head over to the Chirstmas Market at City Hall.  Our favorite French baker wasn’t there, but another one was and I got to have two bites of Simon’s really yummy chocolate tart.  And it was only £2!  We were both amazed.  A tart like that in a restaurant would be like £7!  May have to go back for some more.

Then went to Quantum of Solace and out to dinner yesterday.  No hypos or hurling, but did almost fall asleep during the movie and was the Queen of Burps.

Still feeling really depressed.  And Simon says I look preggers from the side.  Thanks Simon.

And, yes, I am making Thanksgiving Dinner on Thursday.  Turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, brussel sprouts.  Chocolate Ice Cream for dessert.  Yeah, can’t get pumpkin pie here in Belfast.  That’s okay, though.  I’m not a huge fan of pumpkin pie.

So tomorrow is Diabetes/Antenatal clinic and then Wednesday I see my GP and hopefully can get something for the drepssion, although I doubt it due to the fetus.  Hey, as of Wednesday, it is indeed a fetus!

Going To Try and Leave the Flat Today

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First time in nearly a week.  Simon and I are going to go here. And do the regular Saturday shopping.

Tomorrow we are going to go see Quatum of Solace (I will *never* understand that name).  And then out to dinner at Chilis, which has just opened in Victoria Square, although their UK website seems to be redirecting to the US one.  It will be nice to eat at an American restaurant.

Still feeling horrible, but at least I won’t have to really talk to people.  Simon can do that part for me.

So Frustrated

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So one of the things I have to do, because I’m on insulin and its new to me, is call the Diabetes Clinic every day to go over my numbers with them.

And we can’t seem to get my levels where they want them.  They are much better than they were, but my fasting numbers are still too high.  It is very frustrating.  I know I am eating what I am suppose to eat, i.e. within my carb range, but my insulin resistance seems to be increasing.

That isn’t unusual for a Diabetic Mommy to have this problem.  But its just one more thing to worry about.

I’m also a little worried because I am not gaining any weight.  Now there’s a worry I never thought I’d have!  I know part of it is that I was overweight to begin with and with my strict diet I am eating better than I ever have, but it is still a worry.  All the books say not to sweat it, that many women don’t gain weight their first trimester, but its just another thing to worry about.

So today’s key words are worried and depressed.  Maybe I should go take a bath.

Man, this mommy stuff is hard!  But, I am sure, will all be worth it in the end.

Last Night I Had My First Real Hypo

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i.e. low blood glucose.  I went to bed with it at 6.5 woke up two hours later, heart palpatations, feeling dizzy and sweating at a level of 3.2.  Simon was still awake so I went into the front room and he helped me drink some juice and eat some pretzels.  Yeah, was not fun.

Still feeling very flat and empty.  Haven’t been to work in quite awhile.  Don’t know when I am going back.  Just basically sitting in the flat and playing online and playing video games.

I do manage to cook dinner every night and keep myself clean, so it could be much much worse.  Not really sure what my doctor will be able to do.  Hopefully in 3 weeks I’ll feel fine, as antenatal depression seems to be a first trimester thing.  Nearly through that!

9 Weeks Today…

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So the blob is nearly 2cm and has hands and feet.  And eyelids!

Unfortunately, mommy has antenatal depression.  As you all know, I am a depressive anyway, and all these hormones are making me very depressed.  Can’t see my doctor until next week, so I’m trying to muddle through, but it is very hard.

This is what worries me the most about having this baby.  Becoming completely non-functional at some point.  I know it is actually a silly worry as I have never been so depressed that I didn’t at least eat and bathe myself, so I imagine I will be the same with a baby.  And I am hardly alone in this.  Simon is always wonderful when I am depressed.

But it is a worry.  And I know it is one my family shares.

We shall just have to wait and see how it works out.

I Remember, When My Sister in Law

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Was pregnant with her oldest daughter, my niece S, she called in to work one day asking if anyone had gotten the license plate of the truck that hit her.  When she returned to work, someone had drawn her a picture of a license plate with the word ‘baby’ as the plate number.

I wonder if she still has that and if she’d send it to me.  Because the same truck seems to have hit me yesterday and today.  Hopefully I’ll feel better tomorrow, because I have a huge meeting on Friday to prepare for!

No one tells you how much pregnancy truly sucks.  You’re tired.  You ache.  You feel sick.  You pee all.the.time.  Add getting used to insulin and new Blood Glucose levels on top of that? Yeah, work just not happening today.

I’m thinking about writting a petition to the government.  I will propose that women get to start their maternity leave from the moment that little stick says pregnant and get to stay on it until the kid starts full time school.  At full pay.  With your job held until you want to come back.

Anyone want to sign my petition?

So, I’ve Been On Insulin for Nearly a Week

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and my levels are coming down to where they want them.  And I finally gained a pound, which I thought I might have, as I had to put two more pairs of trousers in the ‘wear after baby born’ pile.

I did have my first hypo (low blood sugar) Thursday night.  I was worried because my levels were within where they wanted them, but I felt horrible.  But when I spoke to the Diabetic nurse she said my body would get used to lower levels, and the next time it was at that level, I felt fine, so I guess she was right!

Other than the out of control Blood Glucose and slightly achy breasts, I don’t feel pregnant at all.  Well, I am weepy, which is annoying, but I am no more tired than usual (since I have not had a decent nights sleep in what feels like eons) and I don’t think I am running to the toilet any more than usual.  I’m really glad we saw the heartbeat this week, or I’d be really worried.

I am finding the insulin to not be that big of a deal.  I mean, I would love to be eating like the women on my pregnancy board, who are totally pigging on chocolate and cakes and crisps and such.  But other than that, I am not finding it hard.  I am actually surprised that people do find it to be hard.  But I guess that’s a personality thing.

As far as names go, Simon and I have only decided on one thing.  That it should be something easy to spell!  No weird spellings for us!  We both get annoyed enough with the ‘y’ in my first name and the 3 different ways to spell our surname!  So the name will be something easy.  We’re just not sure what that will be yet!

So, I’m A Diabetic Mommy…

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Have already had two appointments with my Endocrinologist. And have started on insulin.

I was dreading insulin. Always sounded like such a pain, and giving myself shots? YIKES!

But, honestly, it hasn’t been that big of a deal.  The shots don’t hurt, thanks to teeny tiny fine needles, the insulin comes pre-loaded in a pen, so I just screw on a needle, set to the right amount, insert into my tummy and push the button!  TA DA!

And it is definitely making a difference.  Last week my levels were 10, 12, 13, which is really really high.  A non-diabetic level is usually 7 or 8.  And this week? I’ve been 6 and 7 and 8, with a few 10s.  Endo wants it to be 3.5 – 5.5 before meals and under 8 after meals, and I’m almost there.  We are still adjusting my units.  I call every day to read them my numbers and get a new dosage.

And the nice thing about being on such a strict diet? So far I haven’t gained an ounce.  Of course, that will change soon enough!

18th October 2008

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Today I found out that I am pregnant.

I am writing it on the day, but won’t post it for several weeks, if not months, as Simon and I are only telling family and close friends right now.

I am anxious, excited, scared, happy, worried, overjoyed.

Right now, based on my calculations, I am due June 26, 2009.  Which happens to be my mother and step-father’s wedding anniversary!

It is times like this that I hate how far away I live from my family.  We have spoken to Simon’s parents and his sister.  I have to wait another 3 hours or so before I can call mine.  Not to mention that I am not exactly sure where my mother is.  I think she’s still in California, but I am not positive.

When I didn’t get my period yesterday, I was cautiously optimistic.  And dreamt all night long that I was taking home pregnancy tests.  In half the dreams it was positive and in half it was negative.  Then I got up at 6:45.  And it was positive.  And I woke up Simon to tell him.  “Um, honey, this stick says pregnant!!”  “TEST AGAIN!!”  Which I couldn’t do because that was my last stick.

We bought more today and I tested again.  Still pregnant.

Ran right out and purchased ‘What to Expect When You’re Expecting.”   Very helpful.

Also nosed around Mothercare.  I think I want a Moses Basket.  And the clothes, OMG cute!

I will be 40 when the baby is born.  And 58 when it goes to University.  God Help Me.  I’m gonna need it!