One thing that heightens my anxiety is having to take a bus to somewhere I’ve only been once or never been at all. I have a total panic that I will get on the wrong bus and get lost. That panic is heightened when Adam is with me.

The rational side  of me realizes, of course, that if I wind up on the wrong bus I can always get off and call a taxi. Especially as I have an account with a local firm so I don’t even need to have any cash on me.

The anxious side is postive I will be lost forever, Adam and I wandering around Belfast, alone, hungry and, probably, needing a pee.

So when I get on the bus I always confirm it is going where I think it is. For some reason this annoys Belfast drivers. I have no idea how tourists cope. I also put the destination address in my GPS on my phone so I can keep an eye as to when I need to get off.

So Adam and I were off to view a house today. I have been to this part of Belfst before, just not by bus. I had a pretty good idea where I was going, but because it was the first time going on a bus, I was anxious. So I confirmed with the driver that the bus was going where I thought it was going, he grumbled but confirmed. So I got on, settle Adam’s pram in the wheelchair space (fully intending to move if a wheelchair user needed it. It was our smaller push chair, so easy to fold if necessary) and sat down with my phone in hand to watch the progress of the bus.

Except the bus went what appeared to me to be 100% the wrong way. Small panic. I breathed and kept an eye on the map and the street signs and my watch. I had left plenty of time. And the bus still seemed to be going the wrong way. And I contimplated getting off. Or asking the driver again if the bus was going where I thought it was. But they don’t typically answer questions when driving. And then he made a right. And went around a roundabout. And we were suddenly going the right way again! Whew.

I got to my stop and got off, thanking the driver. And we went and saw the house. Which would have been a great place to live for the right price except that it had no bathtub!! Forget the fact that showers scare Adam and I think he’s too young for a shower, anyway. I cannot live without a bathtub.

So I got another bus home. And now that I knew which way the bus actually went I didn’t panic on the way home.

I felt very brave.

And I was.