One thing that heightens my anxiety is having to take a bus to somewhere I’ve only been once or never been at all. I have a total panic that I will get on the wrong bus and get lost. That panic is heightened when Adam is with me.
The rational side of me realizes, of course, that if I wind up on the wrong bus I can always get off and call a taxi. Especially as I have an account with a local firm so I don’t even need to have any cash on me.
The anxious side is postive I will be lost forever, Adam and I wandering around Belfast, alone, hungry and, probably, needing a pee.
So when I get on the bus I always confirm it is going where I think it is. For some reason this annoys Belfast drivers. I have no idea how tourists cope. I also put the destination address in my GPS on my phone so I can keep an eye as to when I need to get off.
So Adam and I were off to view a house today. I have been to this part of Belfst before, just not by bus. I had a pretty good idea where I was going, but because it was the first time going on a bus, I was anxious. So I confirmed with the driver that the bus was going where I thought it was going, he grumbled but confirmed. So I got on, settle Adam’s pram in the wheelchair space (fully intending to move if a wheelchair user needed it. It was our smaller push chair, so easy to fold if necessary) and sat down with my phone in hand to watch the progress of the bus.
Except the bus went what appeared to me to be 100% the wrong way. Small panic. I breathed and kept an eye on the map and the street signs and my watch. I had left plenty of time. And the bus still seemed to be going the wrong way. And I contimplated getting off. Or asking the driver again if the bus was going where I thought it was. But they don’t typically answer questions when driving. And then he made a right. And went around a roundabout. And we were suddenly going the right way again! Whew.
I got to my stop and got off, thanking the driver. And we went and saw the house. Which would have been a great place to live for the right price except that it had no bathtub!! Forget the fact that showers scare Adam and I think he’s too young for a shower, anyway. I cannot live without a bathtub.
So I got another bus home. And now that I knew which way the bus actually went I didn’t panic on the way home.
I felt very brave.
And I was.
I sometimes get nervous when going somewhere new on the bus. I don’t often use buses to go new places, which can make it worse. I get similarly nervous when using any public transport.
It’s something I find hard to explain to other people, because, like you, I know there isn’t a rational reason for me to be nervous. I don’t have anxiety problems, but I do know people that do, so I can appreciate the courage it took for you to sit tight and not ask the driver. Good for you!
I am like this too – I don’t know why but using public transport – any type or route – for the first time really worries me. To the point I won’t sleep for several days before the planned journey.
I wish I could just jump on a bus and see where it takes me but I can’t. When I lived in Paris I spent ages working out my routes to get places.
Hahaha, Tee! I love buses, me!
See, I have no other option that to go everywhere by bus, so its one of those things that’s second nature to me. I have been known to get on a bus just to see where its going, and once I get there, I’ve just taken it back home. Buses are the best for thinking, people watching and freaking out the driver… I’ve lost count of how mnay times the driver has asked me if I was lost, I just smile and say, nope, I just like sitting in a bus. I have also been known to round and round in one, so I could get my li’l girl to sleep.
OK, I know you’re thinking ‘freak’ at this point… but I tell ya, when I was househunting here in Edmonton, it was all about how close we were to a bus stop. Plus, the drivers here are lovely, no complaints at all, and if the bus is empty they chat away to glory too.
I don’t mind using public transport, and it never would occur to me that it might fill someone with fear to have to do take a bus. Good for you for standing against your anxiety and doing what you want to do.
Sorry that the house was not good for you. I could not live without a bathtub either.