over half way to 41. And I’ve been doing a lot of thinking, in between nappy changing, cuddling, soothing and playing, about what exactly that means to me.
I remember approaching 40 with no more anxiety than any other birthday. Well, I was 5 months pregnant at that point, so any anxiety I was having was wrapped up in that! But also, what did I have to worry about? I was about to have my first, much wanted, child, I was (and still am, BTW) happily married and my job, while not making me rich, at least never made me bored.
So how do I feel now? A little more anxious, actually. Its almost as if, having sailed through 40, 41 is going to be the big one.
For one thing I am, of course, much more tired, (who wouldn’t be with a baby in the house?) even with my previous insomnia issues. And being so much more tired, all the time, means that I am almost constant pain of one sort or another. Mostly in my hands and left knee. Which we now know is fibromyalgia.
The left knee is also due to the weight I gained while pregnant. Which I am working on losing!!
So I think 41 is going to be my ‘big’ one. My 40. Of course, at the moment I’m planning a spa weekend with some wonderful women I know for that weekend.
So maybe I’ll be 41. But I’ll be relaxed.
And probably drunk. 🙂