I haven’t been posting much because I haven’t had much to say.
Yes, I know I am two months behind with Adam’s newsletters. And, yes, I know I have never written about my trip to Dublin. So I have things to write about. I just have nothing to say.
One reason for this is my current levels of pain. My bad leg has been hurting worse than ever. In fact, it’s so bad I’ve been limping. I start acupuncture in a week and we’ll see if it helps.
But the thing about pain is that it is consuming. There are things that *have* to get done, i.e. childcare, and that takes priority over writing in this blog. Ye old spoon theory strikes again.
How can it take spoons to write, you might be wondering. Well, then you’ve never written! Everything takes spoons.
And for right now? I’m out of them.
I’ll have more in the morning, of course. But those are already laid out for using. For work, for making dinner, for folding laundry, for walking to get a small boy from daycare. If I have a chance to rest, maybe I’ll have a spare spoon to write another entry.
But maybe I won’t. Only tomorrow will tell.
I agree. Pain can be all consuming. I almost hope you develop the defense mechanism that I unknowingly developed. Without being conscious of it I blocked pain and thus was able to function much better than I otherwise would have been. (I don’t know if you remember but I was 39 when I had my first fibro diagnosis. You and J were a lot older than Adam but I was working full-time and traveling. And I also had help which you don’t have.)
Didn’t realize that I was blocking until I had my first hip replacement and then I experienced 13 on a scale of 1-10!!
Hope you find a mechanism to lessen your pain.
Love…Mom
Pain is a major part of my life too, and funnily enough being on the internet a lot as a result of lack of mobility is a very positive side effect for me – I meet some very interesting people online. However I would rather live without suffering, and to that end I have had a tertiary referral to a pain consultant, who continues to help me. I hope you find a path through all this as well and feel a bit better in the near future.