Me: Simon, this thing says pregnant.
Simon: Test again!!
Me: Mom, its me.
Mom: Hi. Why are you calling me in California? (she was at my brother’s house)
Me: Cuz I’m pregnant
Simon: Dad? I thought we might come up…seeing as you’re going to be a grandfather.
Dad: Oh, you’ve spoken to Anna?
Simon: Wait, Anna’s pregnant also???
(Anna is Simon’s sister. She’s due 22nd June)
Me: Hi Daddy.
Daddy: Why are you ringing on a Saturday? What’s wrong?
Me: Cuz I wanted to give you plenty of notice that I’m pregnant so you can plan your visit.
Me: (to my bosses) While its just the four of us (open plan office, no one else in yet)…I’m pregnant!
Bosses: Congratulations!!!
Midwife: Mrs Fraser?
Me: Yes?
Midwife: I have your triple test results…
Me: Yes?
Midwife: 1:1002.
Me: ::Cries::