Category Archives: Politics

Is privilege the same as advantage?

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I was recently having a conversation with a good friend, who I’ll call Beth,* about the use of the word privilege and why we use it rather than the word advantage.

Beth maintains that if we used the word ‘advantage’ rather than ‘privilege’ when speaking about things like white/male privilege people wouldn’t get quite so het up about it.

Beth meant the people who have this privilege, by the way. Beth thinks the word privilege is loaded with insult and presumption due to its implication of wealth and power.

Is Beth right?

Would it matter if we said male/white advantage instead?

I do think the word privilege is more loaded because so often privilege = wealth. The privileged can have things the rest of us can’t have. And it’s very very hard to join the privileged, even if you make millions you may not be included in the ‘privileged classes’ because it’s not just wealth that creates privilege. Privilege is automatically gained through birth, skin colour, gender and other, less tangible things, that can’t be changed easily, if at all.

Advantage, though, that can be gained. Through study, through patronage, through your own gumption you can gain an advantage.

So I will never be male and attain male privilege. But I can do many many things to give me an advantage over a male. Not easily, for sure, but it’s not out of the realm of possibility.

However, the one advantage I will, mostly likely, never gain, is to become a man. I have no gender identity issues, I am a woman and I am happy being a woman. And so will remain a woman.

So male privilege is not something I can ever gain.

So should we change the word?

No.

I like the fact that those with privilege get upset when I call them on their privilege.

Now, I am aware that we change language all the time to things that won’t offend people. But there is a huge difference between changing disabelist or racist language and changing this.

Because changing this? Would just be another privilege.

*Beth told me he/she had no problem with my writing this post, but she/he did not want to be identified. I’m not even saying Beth is actually a woman, it’s just the first name that popped into my head when I started writing.

Personal Responsibility versus Victim Blaming

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I am really really struggling with this.

There is a thread on Mumsnet where the Original Poster (“OP”) is asking if she was wrong to tell a friend that the friend was stupid for getting blackout drunk in a house full of strangers.

The OP goes on to say that her friend accused her of victim blaming, even though nothing happened to the friend.

And so the discussion begins.

Obviously if something had happened, it would have been in no way the drunk friend’s fault. Someone being passed out drunk on the floor is not an excuse to rape, hurt, steal from or whatever. It just isn’t. If I want to walk down Royal Avenue in Belfast starkers, it’s still not anyone’s right to attack me.

But but but…

But what about personal responsibility? What about how, in this day and age, how incredibly stupid it is to get that drunk in a house full of strangers?

Hell, the stats show that getting that drunk in a room full of friends is actually more dangerous, but that’s not my point.

My point is at what point do we have to accept that we do live in a world where there are people, friend or stranger, who will take advantage of us if we get in such a state? At what point is it our responsibility to make sure we are safe rather than rely on others to watch out for us?

In an ideal world it wouldn’t matter how drunk you got, no matter where you are. We don’t live in an ideal world, do we?

I think it’s one thing to wear a short skirt and makeup and high heels and expect to be left alone.

It’s quite another to be so drunk that you don’t know your own name, never mind where you are or who is with you. There is, of course, an expectation of safety, but is that naive? Is it living in a world that doesn’t actually exist?

I absolutely 100% do not blame any woman anywhere who has ever been raped. And I believe thousands of women all over the world who no one listens to when they say they’ve been raped.

But I also believe, 100%, in personal responsibility. It’s part of being an anarchist, actually. I don’t think it’s anyone’s business how I live or how I raise my son so long as I don’t tread on anyone else’s rights. But I also believe I have a responsibility to live to the best of my ability and be a good person and treat people the way I want to be treated.

And I think part of that is not getting so stinking falling down drunk that you don’t know your own name.

Because it’s not up to anyone else to protect you. It’s up to you to protect yourself.

But, as I said at the start, I struggle with this.

And probably always will.

Let’s Talk About Sex, Baby…

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And pop stars portrayal of same…

By now you’ve at least heard about, if not seen, Miley and Robin’s performance at the VMA’s. He was dressed. She was naked. She acted sleazy. He acted sleazier.

Of course, you only hear how Miley acted. Robin apparently did nothing wrong.

I mean, other than write an incredibly violent and misogynistic song and then pretend to have sex with a young lady on stage during it. A young lady who is, nearly, young enough to be his daughter.

But that’s okay. Right?

Of course it’s not fucking okay. The were both culpable in the sleaze fest that was that performance. And so were the VMA’s, both of their ‘people’ and whomever else watched rehearsals and said ‘Oh yeah, let’s put that on TV!’

And of course whomever thought the song was good enough to record and put on a CD in the first place. I blame them as well.

But mostly, I can’t believe I am going to say this…I blame society. ::cliche klaxons go off all over the world::

Seriously, though. What kind of society do we live in that multitudes of people heard that song, saw that performance and said ‘Yes! Let’s do it! Let’s put this horrible song about hurting women together with a sleazy dance and call it…art?’

And then there are some of the responses. Which aren’t, really, any better than the original.

Take this, the Australian Law Society group, Defined Lines parody of the song. It has scantily clad men and, actually…fairly scantily clad women. The women are degrading the men. The lyrics are about harassment and bigotry and are, supposedly a feminist reaction to the song.

Their reaction is almost as bad in the original. Why?

Because if you want make a statement about harassment being wrong, don’t harass others to do it. The lyrics are okay, I guess, but you can’t fight bigotry with bigotry.

You want to truly rock the world, people?

Do a parody where everyone is fully dressed. Where all parties are treated with respect and dignity.

Just as you can’t teach a child not to hit by hitting him, you can’t teach a man not to harass by harassing him.

You really really can’t.

Can Someone Explain To Me, In Small Words of One Syllable…

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Why people who are committed to each other in a relationship, live together or married or what have you, own a house, raising children etc have ‘his money’ and ‘her money’?

I have specifically made this gender split, BTW, because I don’t think I’ve ever heard of a gay or lesbian couple operating this way. And I know a few.

But it seems perfectly acceptable for a man to have ‘his money’ and a woman to have ‘her money’ and if one is short? They have to borrow from their spouse/partner.

What?!?!

Surely, all money, as all everything else, is joint. Surely, even if one of you makes millions a day and one of you makes pennies it doesn’t matter because it all goes into one account and you both spend what you need/want?

Why on EARTH would anyone, man or woman, agree to anything else?!?!

It’s financial abuse, BTW, to keep your spouse short of money because you can. It’s a form of emotional abuse and control.

Of course, it’s usually the woman who is short and asking to ‘borrow’ money from their spouse. Or, more likely, not daring to ask for the money.

So they go without because if they don’t? Their children will.

Wake up. Smell the financial control. Change it.

Or Leave The Bastard.

It’s a banner day here at Tee’s Blog…

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I have 5 whole followers! I love you all!

Yes, I’ve been drinking. And trying to ignore Girl with the Dragon Tattoo on the TV. I thought the book was over rated. The film is not much better. Simon is, maybe enjoying it.

Sorry. I’m suppose to be political now, right?

Well, I’m pissed as hell that Obama has said the US won’t boycott Russian Olympics. Fuck off.

I’m none too happy that parades in Belfast always end in violence these days. Fuck off.

I’m just, in general, kinda angry at the world tonight. Fuck off.

In other news, Adam’s new nose spray seems to be easing his snoring. No snoring will, hopefully, mean a better nights sleep and no adenoid removal surgery in his future. It does mean, however, that he’s harder to hear on the monitor.

I should probably get to bed.

Fuck off.

My Goodness…Where to start?

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Do I start with Cameron’s announcement about the opt-in filter for porn at the ISP level?

Because I hate censorship. Of any kind. Anywhere. I am an adult. I am perfectly capable of deciding if I want to view porn or not. I am perfectly capable of keeping my son safe from things he is too young to understand.

My husband argues that censorship is already alive and well at the ISP and cellular data level. He’s not wrong. ISP’s can, and do, block peer to peer download sites. Mobile networks make you opt-in to view porn on 3/4G.

Do I hate that? Of course I do. However, the first instance has to do with legality. While the sites are not themselves illegal, the action of sharing copyrighted work without the permission of the copyright holder is illegal. Porn is not illegal.

The second instance is, I am fairly sure, a bandwidth issue. Unlike YouTube and similar video/picture heavy sites, most porn sites have no restriction on file size, video length or resolution. That can clog the mobile network very quickly, so they ask you to opt-in in order to, I am sure, get you to not use the network in that way.

I have to agree with the legal issue, especially as someone who holds copyrights and creates art. I don’t want others sharing my work without my knowledge or permission.

I don’t agree with the mobile broadband restriction, but have never bothered to opt-in. I may, though.

Because I will certainly opt-in at home, as soon as I am made to choose. Don’t tell me what I can and cannot view in my home. That way lies China and Nazi Germany.

Twitter

The Twitter Logo. Just because everyone says I need more pictures.

From: The Branding Source

In other ‘fuck now what?’ news, is the Twitter abuse button.

Let me start this bit by stating that what those Tweets said to Caroline Criado-Perez about a women on a banknote was appalling. To threaten someone, in public, over anything, is disgusting, horrible behaviour and I’m glad they caught the guy and are prosecuting him.

But.

But that only worked because he’s in the UK. That only worked because he was too stupid to take 3 seconds to set up a fake Twitter account to spread his hate. That only worked because he broke the law where he lived.

What if he lived in Ghana? Or Germany? Or Russia? Or even America? Would any of those governments have done anything to help put him in jail? Should they?

Twitter has announced they will add a ‘report abuse’ button to everyone’s home page. Raise your hand if you ever look at your Twitter homepage…

Most people I know use TweetDeck, which is a Twitter product, or Hootsuite or similar. I use both. I never go to my Twitter homepage except in extraordinary circumstances. Even if I did, who is going to answer the call if I click ‘report abuse’?

Twitter gets between 400 and 500m posts a day. What if even 1% of them are reported as abusive? The staff required is mind boggling.

So what’s the answer?

Fuck if I know.

I Realized I Have More To Say

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About the links I posted yesterday.

People ask me if I would ever move back to America to live permanently. The answer is: probably not.

Why?

Well, because the place is terrifying. It’s flow from conservative to liberal and back again with no middle ground and very little notice scares the shit out of me.

Living in Northern Ireland is steady. We are a conservative, Christian country where people still throw petrol bombs.

Yeah. It can be physically scary. But politically? It’s going nowhere.

Abortion is illegal. It always will be.

We had to put my son’s religion on his school application, even though his school is integrated and we don’t, technically, have a religion. That field on the app will never disappear.

Northern Ireland isn’t going to suddenly become non-sectarian. It will matter, for centuries, if not forever, what religion you are, even if you have friends on both sides of the Peace Line. People care.

What Wendy Davis did was amazing. She stood up to the rich white majority of probably the richest whitest state in the union. And she won. And she continues to win as the Governer fires silos of hate at her.

Something similar will never happen here. Not in my lifetime. Not in my son’s. Even though we do have female politicians.

And as much as I hate a lot of stuff here, as much as it goes against my feminist ideals and my own wants and needs, it’s sort of comforting. The lack of change, the knowledge that it will always matter what religion you are or in what part of Belfast you live.

I hate change. And I’ve found the perfect country to live in to never have to worry about things changing.

This all probably sounds defeated and cynical and probably a cop out.

It all probably is.

Feel free to prove me wrong Northern Ireland. I’d be happy to eat my words.

But I am still not moving back to the US any time soon.

That place terrifies me.

I Need Feminism Because…

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That’s the phrase of the hour. Day. Week. Month. Year.

There have been two news reports this week regarding feminism and that phrase. One has been incredibly positive and one that has been incredibly negative.

The second one terrifies me and makes me a bit ill. Mostly because of the school’s response. It should have been ‘Find out who those boys are and get them to stop and give them some sort of sanction’. It should not have been ‘Take your pictures down. You’re getting what you deserve.’

Victim blaming, in other words. From a girls school. To girls who are trying to make the world a bit better for themselves and everyone else.

So tired of the apologists. The victim blamers. The ignorant.

It’s like we’ve gone back in time to the early 1900s. I just checked. It’s still 2013.

A black man is President of the United States. A gay man just became the Mayor of a town here in Northern Ireland.

But women are still blamed for wearing short skirts and having a drink if they are raped.

Women are still fighting for control of their own bodies.

Women are still second class citizens in first world countries. Or less than second class.

Women are still paid less for the same work, called bitches when men would be called strong, expected to never age and not speak up. Ever.

Is this the world to raise our children in?

Is the world my own mother fought to create?

No.

So what are we doing about it?

Personally I am blogging and Tweeting and reading. I’m thinking and speaking.

I will not be quiet.

I will not be silenced.

Power to the women…