Happy Mother’s Day UK Mums!

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Even I got a card and a little teddy bear! And I’m not even really a mum yet!

Simon’s parents are here and we went out to dinner last night.  It was to celebrate Simon’s birthday, Simon’s Mum’s birthday and Mother’s Day!  A good meal was had by all.

Today will be another quiet Sunday, me thinks.  I lay in until 8am.  That’s forever in insomnia world!

Back to work tomorrow.  I have been feeling a bit down over the best few days, but not in a way that is crippling me.  Just in a ‘I’m kinda blue’ way.

I wonder if I will get two Mother’s Days next year.  One for UK and one for US.  I bet I will. 🙂

I am Truly Feeling Better Today

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Its a nice feeling.

Off to the shops today to buy Simon a birthday present (its next Tuesday, the 24th, in case you want to mark your calendars).  He’ll be 35.  Don’t tell him I told you.

Yes, I robbed the cradle. 🙂

Also going to hit a baby store I like, Pumpkin Patch as I’ve received an email from them saying clothes are buy one get one 50% off, so I’ll go see what they have!  It appears to be on spring clothes, so maybe I’ll get some larger sizes for next spring.

And I’ll go to my favorite coffee shop for a decaf latte and a bagel.

Sounds like a good day all around to me.

Letter to My Baby – Gestational Age 26 Weeks

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Dear Baby

This has been another really hard week for mummy.  Her depression has come back.  And this makes her worry about you.

I mean, I will always worry about you, since you’re my baby.  Its my job!  And Daddy’s job!  But I do worry about being able to take care of you when I feel bad.

And then I realize…even when I am at my worst, I take care of myself.  I eat.  I bathe.  I wear clean clothes.  So maybe, if mummy has a depressive episode after you’re here, we won’t go to the park.  We’ll stay home instead and play on the floor.  Or cuddle on the sofa.  It’ll be fine.  I promise.

Mummy had an odd occurance the other night, which ties into being worried about you.  She and Daddy went to the movies and out to dinner.  We then walked home, as we do, and it was after dark.  It was only about 8:30, but for the first time in her life Mummy was nervous walking through City Centre after dark.  Even with Daddy with her.

Now, Mummy has walked home, by herself, half drunk at 2am and never felt nervous.  But with you in her tummy, she was nervous.  She didn’t like feeling so vulnerable.  But I guess I’ll have to get used to it.  And I will.

So now, in your 26th week, you can hear things.  Not just mummy’s heartbeat and blood but her and Daddy’s voice!  You have kicked several times in reaction to Mummy’s voice and once or twice in reaction to Daddy’s.  And Daddy felt you move!  Good baby!  Also, some people say you are sensitive and intelligent now.  Not sure what good either of those things do you right now, but good for you if true!

You weight nearly 2 pounds and are about 9 inches long.  And you have less to 100 days until you will be born.

I can.not.wait.

Love

Mummy

Well, Was Feeling Better…

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and now I’m not.  Today I am totally nauseaous.  And depressed.  And just generally feeling BLAH!

Did go out yesterday and see Watchmen.  It was pretty good, if very violent.

And my second foray into slow cooker use was successful!  I made chicken caccatori.  Was a bit watery, but very very tasty.  We will be having that one again.

One other thing about meds and breastfeeding…I have tried almost every med known to man.  The only one that works is Xanax.  I cannot breastfeed while on it.  Thank you for your help otherwise, everyone.  I will give it a try without the meds, but if I need them, I need them.  End of story.

Pram Ordered!!

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Be in in about 6 weeks.  But they recommend we not pick it up until just before baby arrives, as the 6 months warrantee starts the second it leaves the store!  So we’ll probably wait until the first weekend in June to actually get it.

Simon finally felt the baby move yesterday.

I am feeling a bit better.  Glad to have another week off to recover and see if it is an infection along with the AND.

Today we are off to see Watchmen and then go out to dinner.  A real date with my husband!

Oh, and for the record…all delivery methods of Gaviscon are HORRENDOUS!!!

Comic Relief Was Last Night

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And they raised: £57, 809,938.  It has to be a record.  A small part of that is from Simon and I.

Of course, being pregnant, I was a puddle through most of the show that we watched.  I mean, I usually get sad at the stories of poor babies around the world suffering.  But add in pregnancy?  Total puddle.

Bits of the show were brilliant.  French and Saunders’ send up of Mama Mia was hysterically funny.  Especially if you know that Dawn French auditioned for the roll she lampooned and didn’t get it because they thought she couldn’t sing.  Yeah.  And Pierce Bronson can?!?!?

People can still donate, if they want.  And no, I do not in any way, shape or form work for Comic Relief.  I just think what they do is amazing.  To donate.

On Infections and the Possiblity of PND

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So, woke up this morning.  Had breakfast.  Took a shower.  Threw up.  Went to Doctor.

Being investigated for a possible infection.  Or could be the vomiting bug that’s going around.

She is sending a referral to psych for me, just in case this antenatal depression turns into post natal depression (PND).  Its not guaranteed that it will, but it is, of course, possible.  This way I will be on psych’s radar again and will get treated fairly quickly if it becomes an issue.

She also said ‘it is better to bottle feed and be functioning on drugs than to insist on breast feeding and not functioning at all.’  She has a point.

I really want to breast feed, it is so good for baby and for me.  But if I can’t, I can’t.   I will come to terms with that, sometime in the next 15 weeks.

So I’m off work for at least the next week, until the possibility of infection is cleared up one way or another.  If I do have an infection, then I may be off another week, not because I’ll be contagious, but because I’ll need to take care of myself and the baby.

I’m sure work is thrilled.  I know I would be, if I was them…

I’ve Been Debating About Whether Or Not To Write This

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Since my American family reads my blog, but its too immediate and important to ignore.

Last Saturday night there was a dissident republican attack on a local army based.  Two soldiers were killed, two others and two civilians injured.

Last night a policeman was killed, also by dissident republicans, so far as anyone knows.

Last week, there was a bomb scare at Victoria Square, our newest City Centre shopping center, although, apparently, no bomb.

Its been 10 years. Is it starting again?

No one seems to know for sure. It is obvious they are targeting Military, not civilians.  It is obvious they are trying to piss off the ‘other side’ enough to get them to retaliate.

It is also obvious that this is a small splinter group of the IRA.  Sein Féin has condemned their actions.  Gordon Brown has condemned their actions.  Stormont (our local parliament, run by ‘both sides’) has condemned their actions.

Am I scared? Not really.  Am I sad? Oh hell yes.

I remember Simon and I have a little bit of a rejoice in the middle of the street about 3 years ago when we realized all of the closable gates around City Centre had been removed.

I remember, about a year ago, looking with pleasure at the new park in front of the County Courts building, which replaced the guard house and fence.

I remember, just last week, smiling at a store security guard who actually wished me good morning, as opposed to looking at me suspiciously.

Obviously, I was not here during the Troubles.  They officially ended about 10 years ago, I’ve been here 5.  But I’ve seen the aftermath.  The decade it has taken to get to the point where we can build new shopping centers because new businesses want to move into Belfast.

So, please, if you happen to be one of the people who are part of this splinter group, and you happen to be reading this blog.  Think about what you’re doing.  I’ll quote my husband here who said, “Whether you believe in a united Ireland or not (I don’t), what we have here is a small minority trying to deny the rest of us a chance of living our lives in peace.”