for the next 3 weeks.
So unless something really incredible happens, I doubt I’ll be blogging.
I’ll see you in August.
I Am Stuck…
I have something I want to say. I’m not sure I should say it.
That makes a lot of people snigger. They seem to think I am never at a loss for words and/or say everything that comes into my head.
That’s not true.
Is your mind now boggling as to what I may actually be keeping to myself?
Good.
I Realized I Have More To Say
About the links I posted yesterday.
People ask me if I would ever move back to America to live permanently. The answer is: probably not.
Why?
Well, because the place is terrifying. It’s flow from conservative to liberal and back again with no middle ground and very little notice scares the shit out of me.
Living in Northern Ireland is steady. We are a conservative, Christian country where people still throw petrol bombs.
Yeah. It can be physically scary. But politically? It’s going nowhere.
Abortion is illegal. It always will be.
We had to put my son’s religion on his school application, even though his school is integrated and we don’t, technically, have a religion. That field on the app will never disappear.
Northern Ireland isn’t going to suddenly become non-sectarian. It will matter, for centuries, if not forever, what religion you are, even if you have friends on both sides of the Peace Line. People care.
What Wendy Davis did was amazing. She stood up to the rich white majority of probably the richest whitest state in the union. And she won. And she continues to win as the Governer fires silos of hate at her.
Something similar will never happen here. Not in my lifetime. Not in my son’s. Even though we do have female politicians.
And as much as I hate a lot of stuff here, as much as it goes against my feminist ideals and my own wants and needs, it’s sort of comforting. The lack of change, the knowledge that it will always matter what religion you are or in what part of Belfast you live.
I hate change. And I’ve found the perfect country to live in to never have to worry about things changing.
This all probably sounds defeated and cynical and probably a cop out.
It all probably is.
Feel free to prove me wrong Northern Ireland. I’d be happy to eat my words.
But I am still not moving back to the US any time soon.
That place terrifies me.
I Need Feminism Because…
That’s the phrase of the hour. Day. Week. Month. Year.
There have been two news reports this week regarding feminism and that phrase. One has been incredibly positive and one that has been incredibly negative.
The second one terrifies me and makes me a bit ill. Mostly because of the school’s response. It should have been ‘Find out who those boys are and get them to stop and give them some sort of sanction’. It should not have been ‘Take your pictures down. You’re getting what you deserve.’
Victim blaming, in other words. From a girls school. To girls who are trying to make the world a bit better for themselves and everyone else.
So tired of the apologists. The victim blamers. The ignorant.
It’s like we’ve gone back in time to the early 1900s. I just checked. It’s still 2013.
A black man is President of the United States. A gay man just became the Mayor of a town here in Northern Ireland.
But women are still blamed for wearing short skirts and having a drink if they are raped.
Women are still fighting for control of their own bodies.
Women are still second class citizens in first world countries. Or less than second class.
Women are still paid less for the same work, called bitches when men would be called strong, expected to never age and not speak up. Ever.
Is this the world to raise our children in?
Is the world my own mother fought to create?
No.
So what are we doing about it?
Personally I am blogging and Tweeting and reading. I’m thinking and speaking.
I will not be quiet.
I will not be silenced.
Power to the women…
Dear:
Nigella Lawson: If you haven’t already left? Leave. Pack a bag and get out. He’ll only get worse. Protect yourself. If he does that in public, was does he already do in private? Please. Get out.
Christina Odone: Just shut the fuck up. I am ashamed that we are both women. Any woman who sits there and tells another woman who has been attacked in public to make up and eat a fucking mars bar is not a woman I want to share the title with. Ever. You are stupid. And so is your article on the matter. To which I shall not link because I don’t want to give you any hits.
Every Other Person Who Is Victim Blaming Anyone: Shut up.
An American President In Belfast
So this week, as you’ll know unless you’ve been living under a rock, is G8. When the 8 big leaders come together.
This year they come together in Northern Ireland, at Lough Erne in Enniskillen.
And to kick it off, President Obama gave a speech here in Belfast today.
I could go into a massive rant here about what that did to the city but it did what it does to any city he visits. It shut us down.
Still. It was nice to have him.
And his speech?
He rocked the Waterfront Hall.
Not just because he said ‘What’s the craic’ to 1,800 school children, making them cheer. He’s always been very with it, what with fist bumping Mrs O all the time and such.
But because he made the speech that only he could ever make.
He, not only as The President of the United States, but as the first black President of the United States.
A speech about acceptance and unity and ending conflict.
A speech about America’s past and Northern Ireland’s future.
All we can hope is that the people in the audience who still have open minds about this, the ones in school uniforms, were listening and listening well. Based on this BBC piece, they were.
This is a good thing. Because at this point? Their elders have stopped.
Letter to my Son – Adam – Four Years Old*
Dear Adam
Four. Years. Old.
Holy. Cow.
Where is the time going? Just yesterday you needed me all the time. To eat, to dress, to sleep.
Now, every day, you need me a little less.
Oh you still need me. For one thing, you are not getting the potty very well yet. So you need a lot of cleaning.
And you can’t exactly cook. But you certainly feed yourself.
And you’re starting school. In preschool right now, but gearing up for P1 in September. And you are rapidly learning your numbers and letters.
We had your ‘meet and greet our new friends and teacher’ day at school last week. You headed right in without a backwards glance. Not even a wave.
I expect you’ll do the same in September.
There have been some issues with you and social interaction and communication. The word autism has been used. But we have decided to not get your diagnosed yet. You are being assessed for extra help in the classroom, which hopefully you’ll get.
You have two best friends at school now, who you do everything with, L and C. They will both be in P1 with you, so that’ll be fun!
Your very first birthday party was this past Saturday. It was so much fun watching you with your friends in our back garden. Maybe we’ll do it again next year.
Keep growing my son.
Love
Mummy
*I did say there would be an occasional personal post. 😀
Lowest Common Denominator Rule and School
Catchy title, huh? Thought it up all by myself.
What does it mean?
It means I’m tired of all children being taught things in the same way. I’m tired of ‘But if school doesn’t teach X, who will? The parents don’t.’
This is coming off the back of the announcement about:
“an amendment to the Children and Families Bill currently before parliament has been tabled, which would:
” 1. Add PSHE to National Curriculum;
2. Make age appropriate SRE a statutory component of this curriculum at all 4 Key Stages;
3. Specify that same-sex relationships, sexual violence, domestic violence and sexual consent be part of the curriculum on PSHE”*
What’s my objection? I don’t think this is the job of the government or the schools. I think saying it’s the job of the government or the schools because ‘some’ parents may not do the education is, as my title says, lowest common denominator rule and school.
Why are we running our countries and our educational systems based on what the worst of the populace does? Why are we subjecting pupils who are taught this at home to the same classes as those who aren’t taught it at home?
Why? Because we, as a race of humans, seem to spend our entire lives doing our best not to offend other members of the race of humans. So it’s not possible, for that reason, to send a questionnaire home saying something like ‘Are you teaching your kids about sex and relationships?’ and then taking those kids whose parents say ‘oh hell no, they’re too young/silly/whatever’ into a class and teaching them and only them.
Granted, some parents will lie. But you know what? That’s their right.
You know what else? Who decides? Who decides what they should teach about relationships in the classroom?
I live in Northern Ireland, this isn’t a secret. Do you mean to tell me that the Catholic schools here are going to teach about same sex relationships? Sex before marriage? Any of the stuff listed above?
Of course they aren’t. They’ll object, and rightly so, on grounds that it is against the doctrine of their faith. And they are faith based schools.
What about the faith based schools in England, Scotland and Wales? Are they going to be forced to teach things against their doctrine as well?
So what’s the answer?
There isn’t one.
There is no way to teach all kids all things in the same way. It’s just not possible.
My son has some level of special need, still to be diagnosed and defined. But he gets special help in the classroom and, hopefully, will continue to do so as he goes through school.
Do I expect the entire class to be taught at his level? Of course not. That would be fucking stupid.
So why is this any different? I will teach my son about sex and relationships and two mummies and two daddies and single parents and divorce and all of those things. It is my job.
And if some parents aren’t teaching their kids this? That’s not my problem.
*Quoted from Mumsnet Guest Blog Thread
Seriously? These Are The Women You Chose?
Like so many others I know, I’m a bit addicted to The Apprentice. I didn’t start watching it until a series or two ago but now it’s definitely a favourite.
But, I have to say, it pisses me off.
I have spent my entire adult life working with business people, the last 10 years of that, before I launched Designed To A Tee, focussed on entrepreneurs. Supporting them, helping find them, matching them up to funding.
And if even one of them had acted like these idiots on this show? They would have been laughed at.
But forget them in general and let’s look at the women in specific.
Because they are an embarrassment. To professional women. To entrepreneurs. To people.
Most of them with out of control hair, stabbing each other in the back, enough make-up to stock Boots 100 times over and, most importantly, not an ounce of business sense between them.
And after Rebecca Slater’s firing last night? It’s obvious that that’s what Lord Sugar and his co-horts want.
She wasn’t fired because she cost the team the task. Without her, they really would have lost the task.
She was fired because she was dignified, professional and presented herself well.
In other words, boring TV.
So it beggars the question: are you really looking for a business partner Lord Sugar? Or are you looking for a male business partner?
Because with Rebecca gone? The only contenders left are male.
I am the last person to yell “sexism”. If the right person for the job is male? Go for it, hire a man.
But if they only people available for the job who might be able to do the job are male because the women are unprofessional, screaming harpies? Then the deck is stacked.
And I think this deck is stacked.
Stacked so that the winner will be male. Because they haven’t selected any competent women. Well, they did. But then they fired her.
So, what’s the deal, Lord Sugar? Do you want a business partner?
Or do you want a TV show?
Because it would appear you can’t have both.