I am not saying I am a crap mother. Just that I feel like one lately.
Why? Because Adam has had 3 ear infections and 2 chest infections, 2 of each in the last month. And has had to take antibiotics for them.
Why do I blame myself?
Because I couldn’t breastfeed.
Everyone (yeah, ya know, everyone; they’s neighbours?) says that breastfeed babies have much better immune systems. That they never get ill. That they walk at 2 months and talk at 3 months and go to Harvard at 3 years old. Oh and they can drive by the time they are 18 months.
Obviously I am being hyperbolic about this, but its almost that bad. If you formula feed, for what ever your reason, you are, basically, stunting your child for life.
I would normally laugh this off. I don’t do competitive parenting, I think its ridiculous. But this one, about a weaker immune system, is hitting really close to home right now. As my son coughs himself awake night after night. As goop drains out of his ear and his fever spikes to 100.6. May not sound all that high, but he’s normally around 97.4. So its about 3 degrees. That’s a lot.
That’s all happened in the last week. And I put off taking him to the doctor because I just couldn’t believe he had yet another infection. So he didn’t get any antibiotics until Thursday. When he probably needed them starting Tuesday. And I should really listen to my Mum. Who told me to take him to the doctor on Wednesday.
Another reason to feel like a crap mother. Because after just 2 doses of his antibiotic, he started acting more like himself again.
In any case, I know not being able to breastfeed was not my fault. I had no milk. Fact. I may or may not have had milk if Adam hadn’t been a C-section, if he hadn’t needed to be in SCBU for 9 days, if if if if if…but I didn’t have any.
So I gave him Cow & Gate. And no one can say he hasn’t thrived, my 31.5 inch, somewhere around 30 pound, at nearly 15 months son. But he does keep getting these bugs.
Now, everyone knows daycare centres are hot beds of germs. And he’s proving it. He was out of daycare more than he was in it in August. And now he’s missed another 2 days. Just as he was settling in so nicely.
So I feel guilty. Is it because I had no milk? Could I have had milk if I’d just tried a little bit harder?
Of course not. Well, the lower immunity might be, who really knows? But I had no milk no matter what I did. And I did it all.
So, Mummy Guilt rears its ugly head. And I feel like a crap mother.
Even though, in my head, I know I’m not.
Could someone just tell my heart that?
Robyn’s heart….she is not a crappy mother. AND Noah Rubinson is still being breast-fed and he is also getting every cold in the universe at day care!
Robyns heart…. now you listen to me.
Adams bugs do not make her a crappy mother, its just because during the first year of nursery children will catch anything and everything going (and so do the staff fwiw)… and its actually a GOOD thing for their future immune system even though its not fun to go through it for Adam or your owner.. so stop making her feel bad!
Oh, hon, I’m sorry. It may or may not help to know that my breastfed boy just got off of 6 solid weeks of various respiratory illnesses, during which he practically lived on tylenol. We have had to stop taking him to church entirely because he catches *everything*. Which is probably due to his asthma, since bfing didn’t seem to clear that up either….
So anyhow, you are not a crap Mum. Babies get sick, and when they get sick, we manage to find ways to blame ourselves, because that’s what Moms do. You probably ate a much better diet than I did while we were both pregnant, that’s for sure 😉
If it makes you feel better, I nursed Josh and he had his first ear infection when he was 6 weeks old, and had more than 30 by the time he turned 3. He had speech delays because of it that required him to be in speech therapy until he was in 3rd grade.