Category Archives: Thoughts

Let Me Tell You About A Girl I Never Met..

Posted on by

You may remember, back in February, I told you about Aillidh the daughter of a fellow member of Mumsnet who had leukaemia and was looking for a bone marrow donor.

The good news is that she found one. The bad news is that, before the graft could take, she caught a lung infection. She died last night around 1130 BST, surrounded by her family and some close friends.

The past few days have been so very hard for all of us following Aillidh’s story (BTW, it’s pronounced Ay-ley, like Hayley, with no H), which is most of Mumsnet. She was doing okay, then she wasn’t, then she rallied. And then, sadly, she died.

It’s been days and days of prayer threads on Mumsnet and Facebook. It’s been months and months of ‘please register to donate’ threads on Mumsnet and Facebook.

And that’s what this little girl did. She not only brought out the best in the ‘nest of vipers’, she got hundreds, if not thousands, of donors signed up, not just to donate bone marrow, but blood and stem cells and who knows what else.

I, unfortunately, cannot donate to any of these things. I am too old for bone morrow and my diabetes prevents me from donating blood.

But I’ve done my part. I’ve Tweeted and blogged and Facebooked. I’ve prayed and hoped and sent emotional support.

We, mostly women, of Mumsnet have been drawn together even more than ever because of this poor little girl.

Requiescat in pace little girl. And know, as you leave this world, you left it a much much better place.

The Free One Tastes The Best

Posted on by

Posted as part of One Topic / Forty Opinions via The Belfast Bloggers Network.

As I told the gang at Belfast Bloggers, I don’t really go out to eat. Well, Simon and I might catch a sandwich on a Friday before an afternoon movie date, but eating out at night? Never happens. Unless my mom is in town.

Coffee, on the other hand…that I drink out. Some might say a lot.

And what’s my favourite?

Clements Coffee.* Hands down.

I first discovered Clements not long after I moved to Belfast. Coming from San Francisco, the land of Peets, I had high expectations for my coffee. Peets roasts their own coffee, in small batches, for distribution to their small chain of California stores. They do ship, nationally and internationally, but there’s nothing like stopping at Peets for a coffee. It was the last thing I did on my way to Belfast when I was moving. It’s the first place I want to go when I get back.

So I went looking for Peets in Belfast. I tried, I am fairly sure, every coffee shop, chain or otherwise, in Belfast City Centre in my first year living here. But the only one that came even a little bit close, was Clements.

At that point, nearly 10 years ago, I only knew about 2 Clements, the one on Donegall Square West, which was the first, and the one behind what is now TK Maxx and used to be…something else. 🙂 It was the one on Donegall Square West that I tried first. And wasn’t sure I liked the atmosphere. It’s a very oddly shaped shop, if you haven’t been there, long and narrow with no tables but more bars with stools and a series of sofas and chairs.

But I knew that I loved the coffee.

And now I pretty much only have Clements. Usually at the one at Queen’s Student Union, even though you can’t get a 3G signal in there to save your life and there is no Wifi unless you’re a student. I can forgive that for a large skinny latte with an extra shot.

And now that I have a three year old who loves “going for coffee” (he has juice) and sitting on those stools at the Donegall Square West location, I like that one a lot, too.

And I have filled ‘drink 10 get one free’ cards by the dozens.

And, it’s true.

The free one tastes the best.

*If anyone from Clements ever reads this, I’d like to point out I’m a web designer, among other things, and you guys need a site… 🙂

Freedom of Speech? Not If You’re A School Girl.

Posted on by

If you haven’t been paying attention, you might have missed this:

Never Seconds

Which is the blog a primary school girl in Scotland. She blogs about her school dinners and, really, how crap they are.

Well, blogged would be better, as her local council and school have shut her down. Or, at least, told her she can’t take pictures of the food any more and her and her dad have taken that as an order to not do it at all any more.

She’s also started a drive, through her blog, to raise money for schools in developing countries to be able to supply hot lunches to their students.

Why?

Because she has gotten over 2 million hits in 2 months and instead of taking the criticism on board and improving, they got scared and ran.

Because it’s easier to tell the girl to sit down and shut than it is to encourage her to stand up and shout.

And because grown ups think they know best.

Many of her blog followers, from all over the world, are writing to the council registering complaints.

And I’m going to be one of them.

Here’s The Thing About Me and Feminism

Posted on by

I am, indeed, a feminist. I believe in equal rights for all humans regardless of race, creed, colour, gender, sexual orientation, etc etc etc. I believe that the feminists did great things in the middle to end of the 20th century to let me be the kind of feminist I am.

What kind of feminist am I?

The kind that enjoys running her own company and enjoys cooking for her family.

The kind that appreciates the right to vote and appreciates when she’s cleaned her house.

The kind that knows there is still work to be done and knows we’ve come quite far.

What brought this on? Two things; the first being my feelings of complete satisfaction today as I folded the laundry and made slow cooked lamb for my family for dinner tonight. Some would say that because I enjoyed those things, I am not a feminist. They are wrong.

The second thing was wanting to join the Blog hop over at Salt & Carmel about the absolutely misogynistic and ridiculous advertising campaign that Ann Summers is currently running. They are giving away free ice cream with, (ready?) flavoured lube toppings, from I Scream Trucks (TM I’m sure) and asking people to make “‘O’ Faces” to win prizes.

I don’t know about you but ice cream trucks to me screams children. And “‘O’ Faces”? Don’t even get me started.

Ann Summers, for the Americans in the audience, sells sexy undies and sex toys on the UK high street, i.e. downtown. We have one at Belfast City Centre and I am not a prude but seriously, their windows are embarrassing. And their stock is crap.

But that’s neither here not there. What is here and there is this misogynistic ideal they are spreading through England (no I Scream Trucks here in NI, alas) in order to give away ice cream. And sex toys. To teenagers.

Several people have already written and Tweeted about their young children noticing the vans and not understanding why they can’t have a free ice cream. O_o

So we’re sending a message, Tweeting using #misogynytour and #annsummers. Having a blog hop.

Because some, I’m sure, male marketing exec thought this was a good idea. And, apparently, so did the CEO of Ann Summers. Who is a woman. O_o

I Believe Her

Posted on by

There is a footballer named Ched Evans who was just convicted of rape, a very rare thing to get a conviction for, still, in the 21st C in the UK.

The victim has been victimized. Has had her name splashed across Twitter, which is illegal and across the internet by one of the major news outlets who forgot to redact it when writing about the Twitter issue.

A horrible Facebook page, supposedly created by Ched’s sister, calls for a retrial. Says the woman was not raped as she was drunk and therefore ‘got what she deserved.’

I am sick to my stomach at all of this. Witnesses say she was too drunk to walk, never mind able to give consent to a sexual act. Certainly not able to agree to have Ched’s friends film her.

But what really is making me sick to my stomach is the women who are saying these things. That she got what she deserved. That she shouldn’t have been drunk. What did she expect?

She expected to not wind up with a footballer in his room being raped. That’s what all women expect.

So do me a favour. Go to: I Believe Her on Facebook and like the page. Share the page. At last count the page calling for a retrial had just over 4,000 likes.

Surely there are more than 4,000 women on Facebook who believe her?

If you’re going to Tweet about this, please use #ibelieveher

SPOILERS – The Hunger Games – SPOILERS

Posted on by

As it says in the title, here be spoilers for The Hunger Games, movie and book. If you have not seen it or read it and plan on doing so and don’t want to know what it’s about? Go away now.

SPOILERS

SPOILERS

SPOILERS

That should be enough space for anyone with an extract blog stream reader.

So, I read The Hunger Games about 3 years ago, before the release of Mockingjay in 2010 but after the release of Catching Fire. So I got to read The Hunger Games and Catching Fire right in a row and then wait, I think, about a year for Mockingjay. I enjoyed the whole series from beginning to end as it shocked me and made me laugh and cry and think.

And when I heard of the movie, I cringed. How on earth were they going to make it a movie? Reading about children killing children is one thing. Watching it on a screen? ::shudder::

And then it came out. And everyone I knew who watched it, and had read the book, thought it was amazing. So I gave it ago.

And they were right. It was amazing. Incredibly faithful to the book, the violence handled well (if you can say that about violence involving children), an entire universe created in 2 hours and 22 minutes.

There are some major differences, of course. The first being that, I think, Katniss is not given the Mockingjay pin until the second book and I know it is given to her by the daughter of District 11’s Mayor.

The next being that, again I think, District 12 is mentioned in the first book, at least in passing. No mention of it in the  movie at all.

The whole subplot of the people being caught outside a district and Kat meeting up with the girl, whose tongue has been cut out, in the Capitol, as one of her servants was removed.

And, most interestingly to me, the roles of her ‘handlers’, other than Cinna, are completely non-existent except that they are there and have a few throw away lines. In the book, possibly books (really should re-read them!), it is through the handlers that we learn how citizens of the Capitol view the games; as just that, a game. No feeling for the deaths of the ‘tributes’ other than, perhaps, the sort of ‘ah dammit’ we might feel if our favourite Apprentice gets fired. Except the ‘tributes’, of course, die.

In the movie this attitude is shown, a bit more subtly, I think, through the actions of the people running the games. We see the control centre for the arena, including a great moment when the dogs that end The Game are created. The woman who creates them is so happy that The Game maker, Seneca Crane, is pleased with her creation and gives her a, literal, pat on the back for a job well done as they send these dogs into the arena to help kill the remaining contestants and end The Game. It doesn’t occur to this woman that she’s just killed children. All she cares about is she’s done her job well.

The ‘tributes’ aren’t really people to the citizens of the capitol. They did something, over 74 years ago, and still they must be punished for it. And any act of rebellion is quickly removed, as seen when District 10 riots after Rue’s death. The ‘peacekeepers’ are sent in, people are killed, rebellion over.

There are, of course, holes in the story. Where is the rest of the world? Is it completely destroyed or is all communication shut off so they don’t know that what is left of The Americas regularly sends it’s children to fight to the death? Or are they doing the same here in Europe? That’s the hole the bugs me the most, I must say.

But, of course, what makes The Hunger Games so very scary is how prophetic it is. Oh, we don’t have The Hunger Games. But the haves (Capitol Citizens, their 1%) are killing the have nots (the Districts Citizens, the 99%), or at least oppressing them, all over the world here in 2012.

The Tories are cutting benefit after benefit to the poor and the disabled and doing  nothing to fix the problem using their own money. And on one is stopping them. Lord knows the Opposition government isn’t doing much.

The Republicans are waging a war on women, on children, on the 99% and the only thing holding them back is President Obama and sometimes it seems to be a losing battle.

So is it such a leap of imagination that if, god forbid, there is nuclear war or natural disaster that wipes out most of the world, the next step is The Arena?

May The Odds Be In Your Favour indeed.

Obesity Epidemic?

Posted on by

Before I start this, let me just state; I am fat. I am, in fact, borderline obese. I have been for a good portion of my life, off and on. I am currently watching what I eat and trying to lose weight.

That being said…

As part of my bid to lose weight and get more exercise, I try to walk home from Adam’s nursery drop off at least twice a week. My walk takes me along the Malone Road and I often pass mobs of school aged children waiting for the bus to take them to their various institutions.

And I see maybe 1 or 2 obese children out of 10 or 20.

Adam’s nursery class is another place I don’t see it. I wouldn’t call a single child in his class fat, never mind obese. Chubby, sure, but they are at that age where they are still losing their baby fat.

Adam himself still has a bit of a belly and slightly chunky thighs, but no one would ever call my son obese. Or even fat, really. He’s wearing T-3 and T-4 not because of his waist or belly but because of the length of his arms and legs. All of his trousers, for example, are cinched in as tight as possible at the waist and on occasion they still slide down! But at least he isn’t wearing floods! 🙂

So where’s the epidemic?

Even as I walk around City Centre I can’t say I’m seeing millions and millions of obese people. Just a mix, as I always have, no matter where I’ve lived.

So, is it just me? Is it just Belfast?

Or is the obesity epidemic made up?

All I Want To Say About International Women’s Day Is

Posted on by

America needs to get on board because it seems none of my American friends have heard of it. Although I know I did when I lived in San Francisco Bay Area.

Which probably says something about the San Francisco Bay Area.

Oh and also, to reiterate my Facebook status: Thanks to my Mom, who taught me that feminism means respecting all women’s beliefs and choices. That feminism doesn’t mean not being girly.  Or hating men. That what she and so many others started fighting for is the ability to do what we want  when we want to do it.

Just like men.

Learning To Accept My Limitations

Posted on by

So, as I’ve said, Sunday the 5th was my birthday. And we had plans for the Saturday. Plans for lunch, for a nice evening meal, a glass of wine, some cake.

Instead, I woke up with a migraine Saturday morning. So I spent the day in bed throwing up and resting. And resting and throwing up. And sleeping. And did I mention throwing up?

And I cursed my head. My body. For once again letting me down. For ruining my plans. Something it does all.The.Time.

I mentioned this to my mother and she, correctly and sagely, pointed out I should get over it. It’s the body I have.

So I am trying to remember that. That it’s the body I have and the world isn’t going to end if all of our boxes aren’t unpacked yet. Or if Adam’s toys aren’t picked up.

I’m finding it very hard, though.

To accept that there are days when, truly, all I can do is sit and rest. Unfortunately, sometimes those are days that Adam is home. And we do nothing but play quietly, colouring and watching TV. And I try to at least take him for a brief walk or have a romp in the back garden. But sometimes even that doesn’t happen.

I know soon he’ll be in school full time and it won’t be a problem any more. For one thing, if he goes where we want him to, it’s a 1.5 mile walk one way to get there! For another, of course they have recess or whatever they call it in the UK.

But I still wonder what he’ll remember. Will he just remember that Mummy loved him always? Or will he remember being bored out of his mind stuck inside because Mummy Hurts?

I’m also really fed up with not being able to do what I want when I want. To run out of spoons some days as soon as I get out of bed.

And it happened again today. I woke up at 5:10am with a headache that felt like it was heading into migraine territory. So I got up and took some Migraleave. And I never puked but I was in bed all day with pain. And it was a beautiful sunny day. And I missed it. Again.

Simon and Adam went to the park. And for a coffee. And to get some shopping done.

And I lay in bed all day. In pain. Sleeping. Missing it.

Again.

And I don’t accept it. I don’t know how to accept it. I also can’t change it.

I like to think I live my life not worrying about things I can’t change. Except I can’t change this and I worry about it. It’s a huge disconnect in the way I want to be, to live.

It has taken me over a week to write this post and I’m still not sure what I am trying to say. But I think it’s time to hit publish and get it out there.

I usually like to end on a high note.

I have no high note on this issue.