When I was a child, I had a friend named Gail

She was my best friend in the whole world for years and years.

Gail’s house wasn’t like my house.

Her mom was always home. My mom worked.

Gail’s kitchen table always had butter on it in a pretty dish. We used margarine in a tub.

Gail had 2 sisters, one older, one younger. When we met, I just had an older brother.

Gail’s mom was crafty. My mom wasn’t.

I used to wonder at the odd things in Gail’s house. Not just the old fashion rug beaters her mom would hang on the wall,  but the tree branches that came out at Easter that had coloured hollow egg shells hanging from it and the giant pine tree that would appear in their living room every December.

Gail was Christian. We were Jewish.

But the thing that always fascinated me, was how Gail’s mom sewed. I don’t remember if she actually made all of her girls’ clothes, or if she just sewed some things, but her sewing machine was always busy. And always nearby was her pin cushion. It was shaped like a tomato and the strawberry looking thing hanging off it was crunchy when I would pinch it with my fingers.

I never asked what that squishy thing was for, just accepted that it was part of this odd object that people used to hold their pins when they sewed. And I used to sit and play with the pins and crunch the strawberry while sitting at their kitchen table chatting with Gail.

I have never forgotten Gail or her mom or her house or that pin cushion.

And today, I bought this: pincushion

In many ways I am more like Gail’s mom than mine. I am mostly a housewife with some freelance thrown in. I knit. I cook. I bake.

And now I know that the squishy crunchy strawberry on the pin cushion is for sharpening pins.

Because I own a tomato shaped pin cushion all my own. Just like I always wanted.

The Absence of Expected Pain

Today I finally got a cortisone shot. One I’ve been trying to get for over two years after my last one helped so much.

Why it’s taken two years is not the point (God Bless the NHS). The point is that today my leg is pain free.

My leg is never pain free. If my hip feels okay, my knee aches. If, by some miracle, both of those things feel fine, my fibro flares. But today, temporarily, thanks to the anaesthetic that is part of getting a cortisone injection, I feel no pain at all.

It’s disturbing.

If some part of you hurts all the time, and I mean 24/7/365, and then suddenly doesn’t? It’s a shock to the system. It almost makes you want to cause yourself pain, so you can recognize your own usually painful place.

And, in this case, I can’t take advantage of it feeling so good. I’m on ‘sit as much as you can’ for the next 48 hours and then ‘you can go more or less back to normal, but do not over do it’ for the rest of the week.

So tomorrow Simon is walking Adam to school. And my mega shopping excursion on Friday is being cut down to a hair cut and then straight home.

And by then some of the pain will be back anyway.

In fact, some of it will be back by bedtime tonight.

Cortisone won’t help the fibro. Dammit.

Eating Less, Moving More, Gaining Control

As I start 2014 I am exactly 23 pounds away from my goal weight. It was 20, but I gained 3 over Christmas, which isn’t actually all that bad considering I didn’t even move from house for over a week and ate all the Christmas treats!

So I’ve started seriously tracking my eating again, over at My Fitness Pal (MFP) (Tee2072 if you want to friend me) and using Pinterest (also Tee2072, come say hi!) along with my Facebook page (Eat Less Move More Gain Control).

But while I’d love people to come ‘play’ with me, what I really wanted to write about was something on MFP that bugs the shit out of me.

So part of MFP is, of course, tracking your food. It has been proven, over and over again, that a food diary is an excellent tool for helping you lose weight, even if you’re not tracking a set amount of calories. Just seeing what you’re eating can help you control what you eat.

However, with MFP, after you’re done logging for the day, it calculates how much you ate and tells you something like ‘If you ate like this every day, you’ll weigh 5 pounds by next Christmas’. However, again, if you haven’t eaten at least your base calories, those ‘given’ to you before you exercise, you also get a message saying something like ‘You don’t appear to be eating enough. You may not lose anything ever.’ However, for the third time, you also get a message automatically posted to your ‘News Feed’ that says ‘Tee finished her food and exercise diary for the day and was under her calorie goal.’

Um, what?

So, is it good or bad to not eat enough? Their program ‘yells’ at you and yet places that on your wall for your friends to like and comment on.

Am I the only one who is going O.o about this? Surely it’s a totally mixed message?

I have contacted MFP about this on their message boards but have been ignored. I will be linking to this blog post over there and emailing them as well about it as I really do think it’s a not just a mixed message but a dangerous mixed method.

It is bad to not eat enough. Starvation Mode does exist. Oh it’s not as simple as ‘don’t eat enough, starve’ but it’s not good for your body in any case.

And really? Isn’t that the point?

To do something that’s good for your body?

Happy Christmas and a Lovely New Year

Number one resolution? Write more blog posts again.

Number two resolution? Launch my Etsy shop with knitting patterns.

Yes, I now design knitting. I’ve got a baby cardigan, a scarf and I’m working on a hat. I hope to have gloves and a scarf soon. New dimension to Designed To A Tee. 😀

Also coming up are a brand new website, designed from the back to the front from moi and maybe some greeting card designs.

So here’s to 2014. May it be happy and fruitful for all.

Is privilege the same as advantage?

I was recently having a conversation with a good friend, who I’ll call Beth,* about the use of the word privilege and why we use it rather than the word advantage.

Beth maintains that if we used the word ‘advantage’ rather than ‘privilege’ when speaking about things like white/male privilege people wouldn’t get quite so het up about it.

Beth meant the people who have this privilege, by the way. Beth thinks the word privilege is loaded with insult and presumption due to its implication of wealth and power.

Is Beth right?

Would it matter if we said male/white advantage instead?

I do think the word privilege is more loaded because so often privilege = wealth. The privileged can have things the rest of us can’t have. And it’s very very hard to join the privileged, even if you make millions you may not be included in the ‘privileged classes’ because it’s not just wealth that creates privilege. Privilege is automatically gained through birth, skin colour, gender and other, less tangible things, that can’t be changed easily, if at all.

Advantage, though, that can be gained. Through study, through patronage, through your own gumption you can gain an advantage.

So I will never be male and attain male privilege. But I can do many many things to give me an advantage over a male. Not easily, for sure, but it’s not out of the realm of possibility.

However, the one advantage I will, mostly likely, never gain, is to become a man. I have no gender identity issues, I am a woman and I am happy being a woman. And so will remain a woman.

So male privilege is not something I can ever gain.

So should we change the word?

No.

I like the fact that those with privilege get upset when I call them on their privilege.

Now, I am aware that we change language all the time to things that won’t offend people. But there is a huge difference between changing disabelist or racist language and changing this.

Because changing this? Would just be another privilege.

*Beth told me he/she had no problem with my writing this post, but she/he did not want to be identified. I’m not even saying Beth is actually a woman, it’s just the first name that popped into my head when I started writing.

One Thing I Haven’t Been Not Writing About

is Adam. I don’t have any drafts with his name on them.

There’s a few reasons for that.

Reason one is that he is older now and eventually will find himself on here, using some tech that I can’t even imagine yet, I’m sure. At that point I will remove him, if he so wishes. But I am not going to add much more about him.

Another reason is I’m still processing the fact that my son is developmentally delayed. Possibly Autistic.

I talk about it in real life with no problem. I insist I’m fine. I do everything I can to get him assessed and helped and so on. And things are falling into place, at school and with OT and other help.

But just about a year ago those words were used with regard to my son. Autistic. Delayed. Different. Not neurologically typical, but special needs. Not NT. SN.

From the moment his preschool teacher told me she wasn’t even sure he could talk, as he didn’t say a word for at least the first 2 weeks of school, I knew there was going to be something beyond him being shy. The way a mother knows.

And then the first assessments started happening. And a social and interaction delay was confirmed. And fine and gross motor skills delay was confirmed. And yet, he thrived.

He made friends. He has a gang who have continued into P1 with him.

And he continues to thrive.

And he’s still my funny, sweet, kind, polite little boy.

Who needs some special help.

All Of These Half Written Drafts

That I can’t seem to finish.

So much crap going on in the world that I want to rage about but can’t find the energy.

Appointments for Adam as we head to some sort of SN diagnoses taking up so much head space.

Insomnia.

Looking for clients.

Tired of potential clients not returning phone calls or emails.

Life is just pretty much not great right now.

Maybe I’ll write about it next week.

In Which I Propose A Test

A test to allow people to use the internet.

It is one question:

Do you believe everything you read online?

Answer: Yes.

Your ISP account is removed never to be reinstalled.

Answer: No.

You may continue to use the ‘net.

This is a multi use test that can also be used in regards to newspapers, magazines and books.

In other words: THINK PEOPLE.

If something sounds unbelievable? Don’t believe it.

Here endeth the lesson.