Category Archives: Personal

Memories…

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After a month of a sick child equalling very bad or very little sleep my memory and aphasia have, once again, taken a nose dive. When this happens I always start thinking about memory and memories in general.

I have very few childhood memories. I have no idea why this is but you’ll find my brother says the same thing. Makes me wonder, sometimes, what we’ve both blocked.

The memories I do have are (mostly) good ones.

I remember being in our condo in Manchester Connecticut and my dad bought a new stereo that could record tapes and my brother and I making a recording and getting called to dinner. I remember then wondering why all that time at dinner wasn’t a big empty space on the tape.

I remember my dad’s CB radio in our playroom of our first house in Westport.

I also remember having cousins or maybe friends over to stay and we were all sleeping down in that same playroom and there was a burning smell (I was asleep) and I woke up to a house full of firemen because we had placed a sofa cushion over a light and it had burned.

I remember sitting under the big tree in front of that same house crying as my divorcing parents fought in the living room. My brother was with me.

I remember the poem my step-dad wrote me when I got my stereo for my birthday. Not exactly what it said but that he went to the trouble. Something about ‘always trying to do what she aughta.’ He was lying. :O)

I remember packing my car to drive to Iowa to go to University.

And every time Adam climbs up on a piece of furniture I remember a picture. It is of me as quite a small baby, only a few months old, if that. My mom is holding me on a sun lounger in the backyard of our house in Holliston MA and my brother, who is only 22 months older than me,  is in the act of climbing up to join us. Adam climbs just like his uncle.

I do often wonder, though, what I’ve forgotten…

Smoking…My One True Addiction

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So on or about 18th October 2008 I quit smoking. That was the day I woke Simon by bursting into our bedroom at 6 am shouting ‘This thing says pregnant!!’

I managed to not smoke for my whole pregnancy and about the 1st year of Adam’s life. And then things turned upside down. My great night sleeper turned into a nightmare sleeper thanks to surgery and colds and flu and D&V and and and…

And I all I wanted to help with my exhaustion? A cigarette. Oh how good a cigarette would taste.

And about a year ago, after he’d been in daycare for a few months, I succumbed. I bought a 10 pack. I told Simon, who was very disappointed in me but agreed I was a grown up. And I promised him I wouldn’t smoke around Adam.

And I haven’t. I smoke when he’s at daycare. Or after he’s in bed. Or having a nap during the day.

But last night I decided to try and quit again. Smoking comes out of my weekly allowance budget and I want that money for other things. I don’t like the way it makes me feel. Or smell.

And I have enough health problems without adding tar and cyanide to the mix.

So today I proclaim my first day as a non-smoker.

I just hope I can stick with it.

Letter To My Son – Adam – 25 Months Old

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Dear Adam

That’s right, Mummy is going to try and keep up with these. But no promises!

Today you are 25 months. You spent most of the month between 24 and 25 months ill. But Mummy went postal (sort of) at the GP and you now have been referred to ENT. So now we wait.

When Mummy says she ‘went postal’ what she means is that she was very firm as the GP once again said ‘we need to see how he is in a month or two’ Mummy pointed out that GPs have been saying that to her for about a year. So the GP looked closer at your file and counted antibiotics since January. 6. That’s about 1 a month and is many too many. So the referral was written.

You are also probably going to be referred to Allergy, once I get you in to see the head GP. He spoke to the nice Laura Lady, our Health Visitor, and agreed things seems allergy related but wants to see you himself before he’ll send a referral. Fair enough.

Your 2 year check was fine. You, of course, didn’t say a word until the very end, but you did stack blocks and engage with Laura a bit so she was satisfied. You wouldn’t step on her scale so she took Mummy’s word that you are 28 pounds and about 3 feet tall!

Major milestones this month have included drinking from an open cup: –
Look at MEEE!!!!

 

And climbing on playground equipment: –

Up...

Since you missed so much nursery being ill you’re having a bit of trouble at drop off but Mummy and Daddy know you’ll settle again soon. And they are moving you to toddlers! My good big boy!!

You may note that Mummy has started to call herself Mummy regularly. That’s because you *finally* call me Mummy! Not all the time. But more than you used to. And when Mummy complains that all you seem to say is Mummy Mummy Mummy all day, remind her how long she waited for you to call her anything at all.

Love

Mummy

Torchwood – Miracle Day

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First of all fair warning: there will be spoilers in this post for Torchwood – Children of Earth. It was on 2 years ago and that’s long enough for people to have seen it.

So last night we watched the new US/UK version of Torchwood. And it was ‘meh’.

This is for a couple of reasons. The first being that, apparently, Children of Earth never happened, with the exception of The Hub being blown up. No one other than Jack and Gwen seem to remember the 456 (even though the numbers are used in Miracle Day, they don’t seem to reference the aliens) or the fact that 10% of the children of Earth were to be taken. Never mind that Jack killed his grandson to stop them. This made him, in my and others estimation, unredeemable. I just don’t care about him any more after that action. Life of the one for the life of the many, yeah yeah, whatever. I personally think Russell T wrote himself into a corner and took the worst way out possible.

The other reason I was disappointed was because you hear ‘US Alien show’ and you think big explosions, major special effects, great costumes. This had maybe 3 explosions, none of the huge, and the special effects they did have were, frankly, gross. Way over the top gross, in fact.

So I will continue to watch, as Simon will continue to watch. And we are both interested to see what the difference is between the US and the UK version, as we know there will be differences.

But it needs to get much much better before I’ll fall in love with it.

And…I miss Ianto. *sniff*

My First Post From WordPress App

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Well, lookee here! I had no idea there was a WordPress App!

So far I like it. Seems easy to use. And, a huge plus, I can have both my blogs on it!

That’s really good for Designed To A Tee‘s blog as I often see interesting design things going about my day and now I can blog about them instantly!

iPhone keyboard isn’t the best for this but as I am hoping for an iPad soon maybe I won’t have to use my iPhone for this much longer!

Especially as we are going to win £166b in the Euromillions tomorrow.

::nods::

Morning Routine

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Oh how I hate that word. Routine. Despise it. Always have. Always will. And yet they seem to create naturally in my life.

There is one part of our morning routine, on non-nursery mornings, that hasn’t changed since Adam was born and Simon went off Paternity Leave that I adore.

After he gets out of the shower, Simon calls to Adam to join him in our bedroom. Obviously when Adam was a baby, Simon would come get him! And that’s Daddy and Adam before work time. When Adam was a baby he would lie on our bed, securely in the middle, and Simon would play and talk to him. Now that he’s older they still play on the bed but there’s usually tickling and poking and rolling around going on.

SDC10682

That’s my time, that 20ish minutes. To drink a cup of coffee. To read the internet in peace. To gear up to being 100% responsible for Adam until Simon comes home from work.

I didn’t get that 20 minutes the last week or so since Adam’s been so ill again. And I didn’t realize how truly precious it was until yesterday when he felt well enough again to go play with Daddy on the bed.

That was the best cup of coffee I have ever had.

Hands down.

Let’s Talk About Internet Forums in General

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And Mumsnet in particular.

For anyone who missed it, the official launch of the Mumsnet Bloggers network was yesterday. Me and hundreds like me are now being fed directly to their Blogger Network Site as and when we update. They also have some ‘famous’ bloggers working with them but the main number of bloggers are also MN members.

Now, a lot of MN members like being anonymous. They change their user name frequently (this is allowed on MN, BTW) to keep their privacy intact. In fact, a lot of MN users don’t even like telling people they use MN.

I, personally, don’t get either of these attitudes, but each to her own. What ever makes you comfortable is fine with me.

But I was thinking about why I and millions like me even use MN and other parenting networks and had a very unoriginal thought. It’s because it proves we are not alone in this great ocean of parenting choices. That others have been there before and others will be there after.

Like I said, not original. But it was really brought home to me yesterday after I posted the following story from this week:

(Note: Copy and pasted from this thread that I started yesterday)

“So my mobile rings and I see it’s my son’s day care.

The manager is on the other end and she’s saying ‘Hi, how are you?’

To which I reply, ‘I’m fine, is my son okay?!?!’

‘Yes he’s fine.’

To which I had to reply ‘You know what? He’s not even there. He’s home sick.’ blush blush

Of course, she had no idea he wasn’t there as she hadn’t been in the fledgling room yet today. And she was calling about something completely different…”

And 4 or 5 different people posted that they had done very similar things. And I felt a little less loony!

And that’s the power of MN. Not just that we come together when people need us, whether on a live labour thread or a cry for help with an ill child. Not just that we have a good laugh and lots of in-jokes.

It’s that we are never alone.

No matter how loony we are being!

This Past Weekend My Leg Was Quite Bad

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after a week of a 28 pound child spending most of his time in my lap, on that leg, it’s not surprising.

Sitting on the floor, which I used to do all the time and prefer to sitting on a chair, hurts. A lot. Especially if my leg already hurts.

But, for the first time ever, on Saturday, Adam came over to me and took me by the hand and asked me to sit on the floor and play with him. He usually prefers to play by himself so him asking me to play was momentous.

So, despite the pain in my leg, I got down on the floor. We looked at books and pushed cars around and, for some reason known only to him, held the pieces of the big puzzle in our hands. When I tried to lay them out and put them together, they were very decidedly picked back up and put back into my hands!

Iggle Piggle Card!!

Did it hurt? Oh hell yes.

Did I do it for long? Not really. Maybe 20 minutes.

Was I happy to do it? Oh hell yes.

And I think that’s the thing non-parents and even, sometimes, my husband, don’t understand about being a mummy. That you’ll do anything for your child. Even cause yourself pain, lose yourself sleep, hold your bladder or not eat, if your child needs you for something.

Granted, playing on the floor or not playing on the floor is not a need, per se. But my son asked me very directly to join him for the first time ever. He came over to where I was sitting on the sofa and took my hand and most definitely asked me to sit on the floor with him.

And so I swallowed my pain and went with him.

And would do so again in a heartbeat.

Today Our Family Welcomed A New Member

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Simon’s sister had a baby girl just after 1330 London time by Caesarean Section. Once again she had a child who just didn’t want to vacate the premises as her due date was 10 days ago!

Everyone is fine and our new niece is gorgeous. I have already bought pink things. ::nods::

Some might be wondering how this is for me, as this baby’s older brother was born 3 weeks after Adam. It’s perfectly fine.

Simon and I are thrilled with our only child and are content that he will remain an only child. I’m 42. I have many and varied health problems and, as anyone who reads this knows, Adam was a bit of a miracle, after nearly 2 years of trying.

So Happy Birthday to my new niece. You are the best birthday present your Grandad has *ever* gotten.

Some Conversations During My Day

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“Excuse me, ma’am,” I said to the, literally, little old lady standing in front of the hard rolls I want, “May I just grab those?”

“They put too many in the package,” She noted.

“I freeze them then heat them in the oven for 15 minutes. They come out hot and delicious and fresh tasting!!” I explained.

“Young lady, at nearly 90 that is much too much work!”

“Fair enough!”

Text messages between my husband and myself:

Me: talking to my dad on Skype at 4.

Simon: Say io for me. (DYAC!)

Me: what if I want to say Callisto?

Simon: You can’t. You just can’t.

Me: What will happen?

Simon: The end of the world.

Me: Could be interesting.