I’m swamped with the move and have no time to write but I have a couple of things on the spike that will be incredibly interesting once the move is done and we’ve got internet again.
So see ya next week!
The Catch Up Post
I realized there have been posts that I’ve not followed up on that people might be wondering about, so here it is, a catch up post.
The silver pot: never completely unburnt. I did everything everyone recommended and couldn’t get it clean. So I’ve gotten rid of it as part of the great moving clear out of 2011.
Adam’s ENT appointment: total disaster. Was told that there was nothing they could do as his hearing and speech were fine. So I went back to my GP and said ‘Fine. Then can we try allergy medicine?’ She said yes and he now takes Neo-Claritin 2 times a day. He’s had one fever and one cold since he’s been on it and neither one has gone any further. He really is a small version of his daddy, as Simon gets horrible hay fever and always has.
To everyone suggesting we put a dishwasher in the house: I’d love to, but we’re renting. I’m going to get us settled and then discuss the possibility with the landlord. We’d have to pay for it, I’m sure but I can’t just willy nilly add plumbing to the place!
I think that’s everything that was ‘outstanding’. Do let me know in the comments if there’s anything else you’ve been wondering about!
The Baby That Wasn’t
Mumsnet is having a campaign to improve the care of women having miscarriages during and after the miscarriage occurs. One of my fellow MN Bloggers, @mmelindor, suggested that the members of the MN Bloggers Network blog about their own experiences or allow guest bloggers to use their blogs to spread the word.
And I paused and thought.
Because it is one thing I don’t think I have ever blogged about. My miscarriage.
You see, my medical notes do not ‘officially’ refer to it as a miscarriage as the first GP I saw, with the heaviest period and the most severe menstrual cramps of my life, dismissed the notion that it was anything more than a heavy period with severe cramps. Even though I have never bled that heavily before (or since) or hurt that badly. So badly I was doubled over in pain.
My GP wasn’t available when I made the appointment as she was on holiday so I saw a partner in her practice. This partner, who I usually like and is fantastic when he sees Adam, wouldn’t even listen to me explain that we had most definitely been trying to conceive and I had never hurt like that before and shouldn’t I have a scan or something? He deliberately waved his hand and dismissed it, handing me some sort of pain killer and giving me a sick note for work until I felt I could go back, once he heard my period had most definitely been due.
Once I got to see my GP, about a week later, and I told her about it she said, and I quote, “I think you’re right. It was a miscarriage.” Which made me feel a bit better but she still didn’t think I needed a scan or anything.
That happened about 2 years before we conceived Adam. Just a month or so after we started trying.
And sometimes I think about it. If that baby that wasn’t had been a baby that was, would we have two children now? Would I have been willing to do it again at 39 in a way I am not willing to do it again at 42?
And sometimes I still get angry at that first GP, for dismissing my concerns. For not listening.
And that’s nothing compared to what some women go through when they have a miscarriage. Put on wards, when the miscarriage needs medical intervention, with people who are having live babies next to them. Sent for scans at antenatal clinics and sitting next to hugely pregnant woman, as their own baby leaves them.
Receiving calls, weeks after the miscarriage, from the community midwife team, wondering why they had missed antenatal appointments as no one had informed them of the miscarriage.
And Mumsnet is trying to change this and other aspects of care for women who are losing their babies. Better staff training, better resources, better help.
And so the bloggers network is jumping on the bandwagon, getting the word out. We are Tweeting and Facebooking and yelling at the top of our internet lungs ‘Listen to us! The service is horrid! Help us!’
Help our sisters. Please.
So I Haven’t Written About My Health in Awhile
Mostly because there is so much other stuff going on. But, truthfully, I’m not doing very well.
Part of it is all the stuff I am trying to get done with the move. Although we are paying for the moving company to pack us, I still have a lot of sorting and organizing to do, along with cleaning the flat to ‘leaving’ level. A lot of that cleaning will happen next Sunday after all of our stuff is moved out, but I am doing some of it over the next week.
All that bending and stretching and leaning and pushing and pulling means I am sore. A lot sore.
All the places I am sore.*
It’s not helping that I am not resting as much as I should, and I know this. On a regular Monday, Wednesday, Friday, when Adam is in daycare, I usually work in the morning, have lunch, work for about another hour and then have a rest until pick up time. I haven’t been doing that this past week or so, so I can get more done, and probably won’t be doing it this next week either for the same reason.
I am also, of course, working. Major stuff going on with my biggest client. Other majorish stuff going on with another client. Possibly another client in the pipeline.
The good news is that my mental state is excellent.
But I’m going to be sore and tired for awhile. I’ll try to not be too cranky!
*Having the ‘are pictures necessary’ debate on MN again. Still think it’s silly in this instance. I mean, do you really need that image?!?!
So, As Has Been Mentioned…
We are moving soon.
And I’ve been thinking about what I am going to miss about this apartment, this apartment that was my dream apartment when we found it, with it’s hardwood floors and nice large kitchen. This apartment that I am really going to miss over all. But what specifically?
- The double oven. New house doesn’t have one.
- The gas stove. New house is all electric.
- The dishwasher. New house doesn’t have one of those either.
- The kitchen. Although I am not sure the kitchen in the new house is actually smaller, just differently configured, and definitely has less cabinet space.
- The bare floors. New house is carpeted.
- The location. Although there are some shops within walking distance to the new house, nothing like being at City Centre!
I’m sure there are more things, but those are the one from the top of my head. And what do I love about the new house, that I don’t have now?
- The garden
- The garage
- 4th bedroom as my office. Simon can call it the den as much as he wants. It’s still my office.
- The living room
- The dining room
- The closet in our bedroom that goes the length of the room
- The cupboard under the stairs. No, I won’t be making Adam sleep there. He’s not Harry Potter. 😉
- The downstairs toilet
- The quiet neighbourhood
I’m sure I’ll add to the list once we’ve moved and settled in.
M-day minus 7…
RIP Steve Jobs
Whether you love Apple or loathe it, you can’t deny this man and his company changed the world.
RIP Steve. Enjoy your iCloud. 🙂
Note: The above image was not created by me. It is all over Facebook and I 100% admit I stole it. So if it’s yours, please let me know and I will gladly give you full credit!
Update: just noticed it says it’s by Dillon Rhodes. Thanks Dillon. Great image.
Why I Like Not Having a Car
As I was walking home from taking Adam to nursery this morning it occurred to me how much I like not having a car. How much I would miss if I was zipping down the road instead of walking.
For example, if I had been driving, I wouldn’t have been able to spend a part of walk watching, fascinated, as a pair of men changed the billboard on the corner near my house. It’s one of those billboards that flips between adverts and I watched as they worked from opposite ends, obviously from numbered strips, inserting the boards in. They weren’t going in order so I have no idea what the advert was, but it was very cool to watch them work.
Also, if I had been driving, I would never have noticed that they were painting the fence around the Ormeau Bath Gallery. It’s a nice fence, with gold finials. Now the rails are red, instead of black. I would bet not one of the people in the cars going by noticed that they were changing the colour of the fence.
If I were a driver I never would have noticed that the Worst Burger King in the World (TM) was becoming some other restaurant. Finally. It’s been closed for around 4 years. But now there are workmen going in and out and something is happening. There was a sign saying what it was but it’s gone now. Probably lost their funding like so many others these days.
So I like not having a car. As I can see what’s going on in my neighbourhood. Soon to not be my neighbourhood!
M-Day minus 9…
Discipline and the Toddler
Adam is, of course, at the ‘terrible twos.’ And I’ll probably jinx myself, but they aren’t all that terrible. Not that he doesn’t have his moments. He’s hardly perfect or an angel!
There are, also of course, 10,000 parenting books about how to handle toddlers and their discipline. And I’ve read…none of them.
I only own 4 books about parenting, anyway. One about how Adam developed in the womb the of which escapes me and I’m too lazy to go look, What to Expect When You’re Expecting, some dad’s book my brother sent Simon and How to Talk so Your Kids will Listen and Listen so Your Kids Will Talk. The only one I’ve actually read cover to cover was the developing baby one and that was mostly so I could post on here how big he was as he grew in my tummy!
And so Simon and my parenting style has been created by trial and error. Some from ideas I’ve gotten from others I know, of course, but mostly I’ve just used my instincts and Simon has pretty much followed my lead.
So what do we do?
Well, we use time out for some things. Things such as not listening after being told not to do something more than once, 2 minutes time out. Some things are instant time out, such as climbing furniture, hitting and pushing.
And I’ve developed a count to 10 method to get him to do things. I have never, once, in my life seen count to three work and I gave a lot of thought as to why that might be, keeping in mind I’ve never studied child development or psychology! Based on my observation it’s because three just isn’t long enough for a toddler, whose brain is racing a million miles an hour and to whom whatever they are doing is the most important thing in the world, to stop what they are doing and make the decision to listen to Mummy and/or Daddy.
So I tell him what I want to do and I count to 10. ‘Adam, come to the table for dinner by the time I count to 10 or I’ll come get you.’ And I count. It is very rare that he doesn’t come and do what I want him to do by the time I get to 8 or 9. And if he doesn’t do it at 10? I make him do whatever it is I want him to do. I also tend to say ’10…end of free will’ as I grab him.
It works for getting dressed, for picking a toy, really for most things.
And it has the advantage that he’s learning to count!