Letter To My Son – Adam – 3 Months Old

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Dear Adam

Today you are 3 months old.  And what a 3 months its been!

Month 1 – spent most of it in hospital between SCBU after birth and dropped at 3 weeks.

Month 2 – started developing like gang busters, between major head lifting and becoming Mr Smiley.

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And now, here we are at month 3.

What have Daddy and I learned about you this month?

  1. You don’t mind a bit of poo in your nappy but a wet one must be changed at once.
  2. You love sitting up against the back of the sofa, especially next to your Daddy.

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  3. You ‘talk’ in your sleep.
  4. If you are crying, something is really wrong.
  5. You have learned how to pout out your bottom lip.
  6. You really mean it if you push your bottle away.  You are done!
  7. You can sleep through most of the night, but sometimes you just don’t want to.
  8. You have started to have real afternoon naps, in your cot, rather than in your pram.
  9. You can use your legs to push yourself up.

  10. The TV has become something you can at least see colours on and will stare at it even when its off.  This is why Mummy and Daddy have repositioned your chair so you can’t see it at all!

You had your first set of jabs this month.  It wasn’t too bad.  Just some tears, which dried up with a snuggle and a bottle.

At last measure you weighed 14 pounds and were 24 inches long.  You are definitely taking after your 6’2″ Daddy and not your 5’2″ Mummy!  Although, right now, compared to Daddy? You are still very very small.

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Can’t wait to see what month four brings!

Love

Mummy

So Today, I Was Waiting For the Lift

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in Marks & Spencer’s.  I had been picking up some lovely mushrooms for my mushroom and mustard pasta.  M&S is pricier than Tesco, but their mushrooms are much better.

In any event, as I was waiting there, with the pram, Adam contently asleep wrapped in his favourite blue blanket and I could see my reflection in the sign they have hanging there.  The sign tells  you what items are on what floor.  Our M&S has 4 floors, by the way.  Basement is where I was, where the food is.

Anyway, the sign is reflective and I could see myself.  As the lift was taking ages to get to the basement, I had a bit of time to look.  So first I looked at my clothes.  Little black ballet flats from Next, blue jeans from New Look, cheap Henley type long sleeved cream coloured pull over from Primark.   Hair barely brushed.  No make up.

Okay, so maybe I wasn’t the height of fashion.  Okay, maybe I should have brushed my hair a bit better before heading out.

But how do I think I looked?

The most contented and stress free that I have looked in years.

I wasn’t even impatient for the lift to arrive.  I didn’t even care that my hair was sticking straight up in parts, or that I really need another cut.

I was just enjoying being in M&S.  With  my lovely mushrooms.  And my lovelier son.  Heading home for lunch.  And a nap (for Adam, not me).

I never know, these days, what my day will bring.  Will I make it out of the house by 10, as planned?  Or will it be like today, when Adam was hungry, then not hungry, then wanted a sleep while I showered.  Then a bit hungry again.  That led to me not leaving until about 10:45.

And I didn’t care. Me, who hates missing a deadline.  Who hates running late.  Who hates not knowing what is going to happen next.

Is living a more or less schedule free life.

And loving it.

So, I Have A Dilemma

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I have recently realized that I have not bought any clothes that were not work related in about, oh 5 years.  I mean, I own jeans and leggings and things like that, but I don’t really own casual tops, sweaters, jumpers etc.  On weekends when I worked I would just wear a pair of jeans and one of my work tops.

And I have also realized that I have no idea what ‘style’ I am, as a stay at home mum. I am still not sure if this will be my permanent state, but it is certainly my state until the end of next May.  That’s a long time to have nothing to wear.

I know I want easy.  Easy clean.  Easy wear.  No ironing.

I know I want colour.  My days of wearing all black are past.  Well, except for professionally.   Nothing like 10 pairs of black trousers to get you through the work week! 🙂

I am actually contemplating picking up a fashion magazine.  Or making an appointment with a style consultant.

Or maybe, I’ll just have my day at the shops that Simon and I have been discussing.  One entire day all on my own to poke and try on and try to figure out what direction I shall go.

In my new career.

As a stay at home mum.

No, I Have No Idea

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who Jenny is who commented on my last post. Nor do I care.

I didn’t have to let her comment through moderation.  But I did.  Even though, she, like everyone else I was talking about in that post, totally missed my point.

But enough about that.  Let’s move on to other, more interesting things.

Like the fact that 5 years ago tonight at about this time I was sitting in the pub of a local hotel with some of my family.  Drinking.  Celebrating.  Why?  Because I was getting married in the morning.

That’s right.  5 years tomorrow.  Hard to believe its been 5 years.

5 years since we were married.  6 years since I moved to Northern Ireland.  8 years we’ve been together.

And now 12 weeks since Adam was born.  Next Friday he’s 3 months old.  Talk about time flying.

Before we know it? He’ll be starting school.  And going on dates.  And off to University.

Yes, I am feeling maudlin tonight.  Thanks for asking.

I Am About To Rant. You Have Been Warned.

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So I posted links to this Free Range Kids Blog Post about a 9 year left in a car to wait for mom and dad with her 6 year old sleeping sibling. Someone walking by called the police and CPS and Dad got arrested for child neglect.

I posted this in several places, deliberately.  The question I asked? Not, is it okay to leave a 9 year old and a 6 year old alone in a car in a busy car park.  Because the answer to that question is that it depends on the 9 and 6 year old.  No, I asked should it be a police matter if parents believe their 9 year old is able to watch their 6 year old sleeping sibling in a car.

Have now been told, over and over, that I am crazy to think that any 9 year old is mature enough to watch their sleeping sibling.  That I could not possibly know what a 9 year old is like, since Adam is only 11.5 weeks.  Oh and that for sure the dad should have been arrested for neglect.

Excuse me?

So what these people are telling me is that I am not allowed to make decisions based on my knowledge of my own child?  Obviously I do not yet know what Adam will be like as a 9 year old.  This does not mean that I do not think about the future and how I would react depending on how he is at that age.  This does not mean that I do not already know that I (and his father, obviously) plan to raise him as ‘free range’ as possible, depending on how he is and the situation.

But, apparently, there are people in the world who will assume he is abandoned, neglected, what have you because they see him in a situation that they think is dangerous. Without making sure it actually is.

And the scenarios they’ve come up with as to why its dangerous?  Well, at least it wasn’t kidnapping fears.  It was, the 9 year old might get bored and play with the car controls.  Or the 6 year old might wake up and ignore what the 9 year old says.

Gee, I don’t know.  I think if I thought my 9 year old was capable of staying in the car with the 6 year old, I would be pretty sure that the 9 year old wouldn’t play with the car controls and I would be pretty damn sure that the 6 year old would listen to the 9 year old.

I was also told that that was ridiculous.  That no 6 year old would ever listen to a 9 year old.

My mind boggles.

I don’t care how you raise your kids.  Get off my back about how I raise mine.

BTW, these are the same people who are amazed when they read stories about university students who can’t interact with professors without parental intervention.  And recent graduates whose parents call to check up on job interviews.

I guess they don’t realize that this is exactly the kind of kid they just might be raising.

Today, At City Centre

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An old hag lovely old dear said to me in passing ‘your jaw is going to really hurt when you get home.’  I assume because I was chewing gum.  What did I say back?  A raised eyebrow and a confused look, followed by a belly laugh.  What did I want to say back?

“Thanks for your opinion you nosy old hag lovely old lady.  Would you rather I was blowing smoke into my baby’s face?”

Yesterday The Best Thing Ever Happened.

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Adam gave his first full on belly laugh.  I was laughing at him because he paused in his feeding to let out a huge fart and my laughing led to him laughing.

It was one of those ‘damn, why isn’t the video camera aimed at him 24/7’ moments.  And it was the most joyous sound I have ever heard.

My good, big son.  The smiley laughing boy.