Letter To My Son – Adam – 3 Months Old

Dear Adam

Today you are 3 months old.  And what a 3 months its been!

Month 1 – spent most of it in hospital between SCBU after birth and dropped at 3 weeks.

Month 2 – started developing like gang busters, between major head lifting and becoming Mr Smiley.

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And now, here we are at month 3.

What have Daddy and I learned about you this month?

  1. You don’t mind a bit of poo in your nappy but a wet one must be changed at once.
  2. You love sitting up against the back of the sofa, especially next to your Daddy.
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  4. You ‘talk’ in your sleep.
  5. If you are crying, something is really wrong.
  6. You have learned how to pout out your bottom lip.
  7. You really mean it if you push your bottle away.  You are done!
  8. You can sleep through most of the night, but sometimes you just don’t want to.
  9. You have started to have real afternoon naps, in your cot, rather than in your pram.
  10. You can use your legs to push yourself up.
  11. The TV has become something you can at least see colours on and will stare at it even when its off.  This is why Mummy and Daddy have repositioned your chair so you can’t see it at all!

You had your first set of jabs this month.  It wasn’t too bad.  Just some tears, which dried up with a snuggle and a bottle.

At last measure you weighed 14 pounds and were 24 inches long.  You are definitely taking after your 6’2″ Daddy and not your 5’2″ Mummy!  Although, right now, compared to Daddy? You are still very very small.

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Can’t wait to see what month four brings!

Love

Mummy

Letter to My Son – Adam – 2 Months Old

Dear Adam

Today you are 2 months old.  Would you believe not one trip the hospital for anything other than a check up for the whole month?

Of course, this doesn’t mean you haven’t been hurt.  Daddy was clipping your fingernails and missed and cut a big chunk out of one of your fingers.  That’s the hardest you’ve cried.  And the blood!  And the Daddy guilt.  Which I told him to stop, as its nothing compared to Mummy dropping you on your head!

You were at the hospital for your after head dropping check up and it turns out that you did crack a rib as well.  Nothing they can do except let it heal, especially since it is obviously not hurting you.  You do still have a big lump on your side and the Doctor said that was why.  You have been discharged though!  So no more hospitals for you, please, my son. Just your regular baby clinic visits and jabs!

We’ve also had some bad days of crankiness and not sleeping.  Mummy thinks its a bit of colic.  Or maybe just being 2 months old.  She tells herself, and you and Daddy, this too will pass.  Some day you’ll be 18 and we’ll be fretting about something else.  Like you wanting to take a year to travel the world with your unsuitable girlfriend. 🙂

You’ve started to smile at Mummy and Daddy.  Its the best thing in the whole world.  Along with your babbling to yourself as you sit in your chair.  Or maybe you’re babbling to your animals that hang on it?

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Things we’ve learned about you this month: –

  • If you are totally hysterical, but won’t take a bottle or a dummy or even a hug, putting you under your mobile in your cot is instant calm.  Winnie the Pooh for the win!
  • If you are obviously sleepy but just won’t settle, a good swaddle in  your blue blanket and a few minutes cuddle (usually) knocks you out for at least a little while!
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  • You are beginning to be able to sooth yourself back to sleep, so long as you aren’t hungry or dirty.
  • You make a sound that sounds like a giggle.  But might not be.

At your last weigh in your were 12lbs and 22inches.  My great big boy!

Keep growing!

Love

Mummy

Letter to My Baby – Adam – 1 Month Old

Dear Adam

Today you are one month old.  Its been quite a month, my son.  You spent the first week and 3 days in the SCBU getting your breathing straightened out.  Then you came home to mummy, daddy, grandma and pops.

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Then a week ago today Mummy dropped you on your head and you spent another 2 nights in hospital.  Mummy will never be able to tell you how sorry she is that that happened.  She doesn’t even exactly know how it happened.  One second you were safe in her arms, the next you were flying through the air and hitting the floor, with her screaming your name.  It turned out that you cracked your skull.  Just a small fracture that did no other damage, but the sentence Daddy and I never want to hear again is: ‘The good news is his ribs are fine, the bad is that he cracked his skull.’  We both thought we would throw up right there in the cubicle at the A&E.

But after two nights observation in hospital and a set of full body XRays you were announced right as rain!  And Daddy and I were so glad you were home.

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You also had your SCBU follow up this past week and were officially discharged from their care.  Your lungs and your heart are perfectly fine.

The other exciting thing that happened was the birth of your younger cousin.  Aidan was born 3 weeks and 3 days after you, so you can lord that over him as much as you like. 🙂

Mummy and Daddy have been having so much fun learning about you.  About how it takes you a good 10 minutes to wake up.  About how you like to play with your bottle for awhile before actually swallowing any of it.  About how you really hate getting your nappy changed 99% of the time.  About how you enjoy a hair wash, up to a point, but hate a full body wash.

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About how you love being swaddled.  And we are learning more things about you every day.

The adventure that is your life is just beginning, my son.  And I can’t wait to watch it unfold.

I love you.

Mummy

Letter to My Baby – Adam Jacob – Now 4 Days Old

Note: This is a letter I started the day after he was born and added to a bit every day while I was in the hospital.

12th June 2009

Dear Adam

Yesterday you were born.  I was one of the happiest days of my life, tied with the day I married your father.

You were born at 10:36am at the maternity hospital here in Belfast.  You weighed 8lbs 10oz.  My big boy!  You were born with quite a bit of darkish hair.  Your eyebrows and eyelashes are so faint and blond, just like your Daddy’s.

As I write this I don’t know what colour your eyes are as you haven’t opened them.  You see, you are a little ill, having some trouble breathing so you are not with me, you’re down in the Special Care Baby Unit (SCBU) on oxygen and in an incubator so you are nice and warm.

The doctors are hopeful that you will be out in just a few days.

It was so hard for Mummy when they took you away.  She was still under a spinal block from the CS that delivered you so she was stuck in bed, not even able to lift you out of your cot without help and they took you away.  She knows it was for the best, to get you the best care and get you well, but she was still very sad.

At first they let you stay in Mummy’s room in an incubator, but eventually they moved you to SCBU.  As soon as the doctors let them, Mummy and Daddy went down to see you.  They got to talk to you and touch you.  Mummy was in a wheelchair, but she was determined!!

Today Mummy should be back on her feet.  And she will spend as much time with you as possible, as will Daddy.

Granny and Granda will be here tomorrow as they can only see you on the weekends.

Mummy is recovering well, but will be in hospital until at least Sunday.  She’s praying that you will get to come home with her, but the doctors don’t know yet.

Things I already know about you:

When your allowed to sleep on your side, you tuck your hands under your face, just like Mummy.  When you cry, which hasn’t been often so far, a hand on your tummy seems to calm you down.  And so far you seem very even tempered.

Your name, as you know, is Adam Jacob.  Adam is for your Daddy’s grandfather, your granny’s father.  Jacob is for your Mummy’s grandfather, the father of your Pops with the swimming pool.  His middle name was Jacob.  His first name was Harrison, but when Mummy mentioned naming you that to a few people thought it was for Harry Potter!  So she and Daddy decided his middle name was better.  It is also to honour your Great Aunt Janice, who died a few months ago.  So, in a small way, you are named for a girl!!  But not really. 🙂

Your Daddy says you have Mummy’s features, but she just doesn’t see it.

Grandma and Pops with the watering can will be here on Wednesday for a nice long visit.  Hopefully you will be home by then.  Or not too long after that.

You being a boy was a bit of a shock to everyone except Mummy, who just had a feeling you were a boy!  Everyone else was positive you were a girl, but Mummy was right!!

The lovely midwife on morning shift has just rung down to see how you are.

You are off the CPAP!!!  So your breathing on your own with a bit of ambient oxygen in the incubator.

Daddy will be here in about an hour and we will go see you.

Well, you are off the CPAP, my child, because you fought it, not because you don’t need it.  It was stressing you out so badly the doctors decided you were better off without it.

However, like a good boy, while Daddy and I were with you, you opened your eyes!  They are very very dark blue.  Mummy doesn’t know if they’ll stay that way, but she hopes so!

Oh, and your hair is definitely black.  So Mummy’s hair and Daddy’s eyebrows and eyelashes!

The Docs say that there are 3 things you need to do to come home: –

  1. Slow down your breathing.
  2. Have more regular blood sugar levels.
  3. Suck on bottle or breast.

Once you have done those 3 things? Home you come!  So get to it! 🙂

Daddy just left.  He and Mummy were with you for about an hour.   Mummy walked down under her own power, so now she can come down any time she wants.

They have stopped your feeding because they were afraid you’d choke, so now you have an IV line in your belly button.  SCBU staff say it doesn’t hurt.

A doctor said your breathing will probably straighten out in 3 – 5 days.  So maybe we’ll know more by Sunday.

Grandma with the pool said to Mummy today, ‘You’re wrong. He doesn’t look like Winston Churchill.  He’s beautiful.’  And you are.

13th June 2009

It would appear that mummy is back to her pre-pregnancy insomnia.  Wide awake at 4am.  She was really hoping to have stopped that!

Mummy’s been thinking about all the things she has already missed.  A midwife named Gillian did your first nappy change.  One named Noeleen tried to do your first feed.  Someone unknown did your first wash.  It makes her sad.

So, she’ll just have to make rituals out of those things once you’re home!  First home bath, first home feed, first home nappy change.

Mummy just got back from seeing you.  Your blood sugar is fine! Your O2 is up a bit because you had a hard night.  And a small fever, but they are not really worried.  They think it is just because your little body is working so hard to get enough O2.

And I take back the even tempered comment.  You were being a big ole cry baby this morning!

We had a bad afternoon when Mummy was down to see you again after lunch and they had turned your O2 up again.  You are very stressed and crying, probably because you are very hungry.  IV with glucose gives you nutrition, it doesn’t fill your empty tummy.  Maybe tomorrow they’ll be able to feed you a bit.

14 June 2009

Went and saw you about 5am.  You had a pretty good night, with about 2ml of formula.  The consultant decided you were to hungry to relax, so a bit of food was allowed.

You were sound asleep from about 3am.  So I watched you sleep for awhile.

Your O2 is 38% and your breathing is getting a bit better.

Mummy feels much better today.  But still hasn’t been able to express any milk.  She is hoping to soon.

Mummy saw you just after her dinner.  Your O2 was at 34% which is the lowest its been!!

Mummy is going home tomorrow.  She wishes you were coming with her.  Maybe on Wednesday.

Mummy is still not getting any milk for you.  She feels a bit like a bad Mummy.  She can’t even touch you right now because it stresses you out.  She knows you are going to be fine, eventually.  She just wishes it was now.

15 June 2009

Mummy is *so* happy.  She made her early morning visit and Pat, the nurse on duty, said “Would you like a treat?”  Mummy was thinking she meant to let Mummy change your nappy.  Nope.

Mummy held you!!!  For about 20 minutes!!!  It was the best ever.

Daddy will be purple with envy.  He’ll get his turn.  Maybe even later today.

You had a good night.  You are on 34% O2 and 2mls of milk.   Your temp is down, your Blood Sugar is fine.  And your breathing is getting better.  We have some progress!!

If your O2 need keeps going down at the same rate, you might be home by the end of the week.  Its gone down 6% since yesterday and needs to go down another 13% to be at normal air.  So really, not that far to go.

In other good news, Mummy’s milk seems to be coming in. So we can get you that soon.

It was such a nice snuggle but, man, are you heavy!!  Mummy, of course, knew that you weighed over 8lbs, but holding 8lbs! Wow! My good hefty boy!

That was as far as I wrote while in hospital with you, my son.  As of this morning you are off your O2 and breathing fine.  Your blood sugar is fine.  Just need to get your temp down and your suck and swallow function up and running!  You’ll be home soon, my son!

The Final Letter to My Baby – Gestational Age 38 Weeks

Dear Adam/Zoe (name subject to change without notice)

Well, my love, this is it.  Mummy’s last letter to you while you are in her tummy.  You should be in her arms in just about 48 hours.

She and Daddy are so ready.  Not just with your room and your clothes and such, but mentally ready.  We keep talking about how much fun it will be to have you with us.  We are aware that it won’t be all sunshine and roses, more like poopy nappies and colic for awhile, but we are ready for even that.

This morning as Daddy was getting ready to leave for work, we were talking about how this will be the first time since I permanently moved to Belfast that we haven’t slept under the same roof for more than one night.  We have been sleeping in separate bedrooms for awhile, since Mummy sleeps so badly, but at least it is possible to ‘visit’ each other!  Starting tomorrow night I’ll be in hospital and Daddy will be home until at least Sunday.

The plan is that your Granny and Granda will come down from Derry on Saturday and then bring you and I home from hospital on Sunday.  Then your Grandma and Pops with the Watering can (so named by your big cousin in California) will be here the following Tuesday to help out Mummy and Daddy for about 2.5 weeks.  Daddy is off work starting tomorrow for at least two weeks.  So we’ll have lots of help with you!

Mummy and Daddy are going out to dinner tonight, once last hurrah! before we two become we three.  Just around the corner to our favourite little bistro for a nice meal and some quiet time.  Probably our last quiet time for a very long time.

So here it is.  The final countdown:

2 days.

Love

Mummy

Highlights of 9 Months of Pregnancy

Me: Simon, this thing says pregnant.
Simon: Test again!!


Me: Mom, its me.
Mom: Hi. Why are you calling me in California? (she was at my brother’s house)
Me: Cuz I’m pregnant


Simon: Dad? I thought we might come up…seeing as you’re going to be a grandfather.
Dad: Oh, you’ve spoken to Anna?
Simon: Wait, Anna’s pregnant also???

(Anna is Simon’s sister. She’s due 22nd June)


Me: Hi Daddy.
Daddy: Why are you ringing on a Saturday? What’s wrong?
Me: Cuz I wanted to give you plenty of notice that I’m pregnant so you can plan your visit.


Me: (to my bosses) While its just the four of us (open plan office, no one else in yet)…I’m pregnant!
Bosses: Congratulations!!!


Midwife: Mrs Fraser?
Me: Yes?
Midwife: I have your triple test results…
Me: Yes?
Midwife: 1:1002.
Me: ::Cries::


We *Can* Has Nursery!!

So, after weeks of prep and hours of organization (only took that long because I have to sit down and rest every half hour 🙂 ) I bring you…

The Baby’s Room:

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Close up of cot, with the softest fleecey blankey ever made by the Baby’s Aunty Jodi in NY:

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The Rocking Chair, generously given to us by Simon’s Parents. And that’s Simon’s baby blanket across the back!

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And the changing table!

changing table

Before anyone asks…the change pad is Velcroed to the top of the changing table. Its actually very secure!!

And What I Will Miss…

about being pregnant.

I know I’ve said I hate it, and I do.  But there are still a few things I’ll miss:

The feeling of the wiggle worm on the interior.

Knowing that that baby is 100% safe, something I’ll never have once its on the outside.

Seeing my bump move with the baby.  Always makes me laugh out loud.

And really, that’s it!!!

7 days…

Other Than, Ya Know, Baby…

what am I looking forward to after its here?

PJ bottoms that stay up.

Jeans that stay up.

Not crying every time someone looks at me funny.

Sleeping on my tummy.

Eating whatever I want.

Stopping my insulin.

Walking from the living room to the bedrom without getting out of breath.

Standing up without having to run to the loo.

Just in general getting my body back.

8 more days. 🙂